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Autistic Soul

"IF YOU THINK MY HANDS ARE FULL YOU SHOULD SEE MY HEART."~UNKNOWN
My special thought for today is about my son & all of the BEAUTIFUL children in this world with Autism or any form of disability:

I knew marriage and motherhood would be a tremendous challenge for me, but motherhood combined with Autism is the Universal Creator showing me what I am truly made of.   Some days I struggle but every day I love and laugh with my son.  He’s amazingly brilliant and teaches me a new way of LEARNING and LOVING life each day.

Today I thank the Most High for all of the beautiful gifts I’ve received since I’ve been on this earth, but one gift that I am eternally grateful for is my son.  He’s an Autistic Soul and a ball of love that bounces joyful energy throughout my world.  I’m an even better mother because of him. 

~Bindu 
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?AUTISM? WSI┴∩∀?


What is Autism? It is a neurological disorder that causes developmental delay. It usually occurs within the first few years of a child's life. I've read that it occurs more in boys than girls. Parents may notice subtle changes with how a child functions.

I call it the DISCONNECT. That's how I felt when looking into my child's eyes. I noticed something was affecting my son's development with communication and his social skills but I didn't have a name for it.

My son is non-verbal and struggles with social interactions. He also has sensory issues to foods, sounds, etc... For example a car alarm going off my be a trigger that sends him into a state of high anxiety and panic. He smells and feels everything before eating it. I'm a picky eater but my son is really a picky eater!

I quickly discovered 3 things:

1. I not only had to learn my child as a unique individual but learn him through his struggles with Autism.

2. Every child truly is different.

3. Patience is key!

Once he was diagnosed our journey of discovery began! From figuring out what his triggers were to what special gifts were hidden within his beautiful mind.

I have discovered that my son is a brilliantly beautiful and affectionate soul. He loves sports & has a fondness for water....he loves swimming. As I learned him, he has learned my role and responsibility in his life.

By age three he fully understood that I am not just his mother but I am a strong positive PROTECTIVE force of constant loving energy and support in his life. The world has to come through me before getting to him. He truly is who and what matters most! He's my BOO-BEAR!

~Bindu

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MY BOO-BEAR
I'm truly living for the love of Shane.  He is a constant reminder of the importance of motherhood.  He's my Boo-Bear.......His eyes carry beautiful energy..... His silence speaks a language of love.
I am so in tuned to him that we just naturally discover new things about each other through his Autistic Soul.  He has taught me to pay very close attention, to listen intently to hear his thought and to continue to be a lover of life.  His heart is where I always want to be.

~Bindu 
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POOP PLAY!  *WHY?????*
This is something a lot of Autistic kids do.  I stay grossed out at the very thought of this topic BUT after a conversation with other parents I had to address it.  I'm just going to get straight to the point as I share my thoughts on this topic!  

Why do kids do this?? No I didn't google an answer to my question, because the answers would only freak me out so much more.  I've heard that other parents who have mainstream children experience kids playing in poop, wiping it on the walls or worse! (And those who have experienced this know it can get worse.)   

All I could think was WHO KNEW????? And why the heck are you not warning other parents?????  I thought it was just my experience & I was losing my mind over it.  Here's a list of emotions that will hopefully help other parents know they are not alone in this. 

*STRESS, CRINGE, TEARS, RELIEF, LAUGHTER &  LOVE*
-I feel stressed if I think I missed a spot when cleaning.
-I cringe thinking the smell is on me, my clothes & hair.
-I have my moments & when I will break down in tears.
-I feel relief that Irish Spring soap consumes the smell.
-I sometimes laugh at the experience.... when it's over!
-I love him up with hugs & kisses when he's fresh & clean! 

Ahhhh...the sweet scent of candles but IN MY HEAD I'm thinking WTH! (lol)
*Bindu*
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SOBER & SANE

After years of conversations with other parents, I notice how puzzled they were at how calm, stress free & sane I appear to be.  It finally clicked in my brain that I'm one of the few Autistic parents doing this damn thing sober & still sane!  Who knew.....*LOL*

For me there's no girls night out, *whooo hooo* NOT! There is no shoving down krispy cream donuts, chain smoking, popping prescription meds like xanax & prosac or guzzling glasses of wine to escape the anxiety & panic-filled moments we feel. 

Each child & parent is different so I just do what works best for my child.  I'm good at applying love, affection, compassion to sensitive situations while knowing when to be firm so he can learn right from wrong....so that's what I do.  I SIMPLY LOVE HIM UP!   

Yes even when I have no energy left, instead of trying to escape reality I embrace it.  When he's frustrated because he cannot express himself I kiss those cheeks to let him know it's okay. He has a mother that will always understand him & find a way to come close to experiencing how he feels.  When we are out and he seems nervous or afraid I give warm hugs while patting his back to let him know he is safe. I tickle him & let the sillies come out so my child is all smiles.  He feeds off my energy so I must stay positive no matter what.

~Bindu
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HAVE A HEART
TOP 5 REASONS NOT STARE!
1. It's rude...........I understand why people do it but it's still rude.
2. It's uncomfortable.......Imagine how uncomfortable families feel.
3. It's stressful.......People staring during a meltdown adds to the stress.
4. It's hurtful......Getting "THE LOOKS" is hurtful because you love your child.
5. It's mean.......BE NICE! Staring with annoyed faces make the situation worse & it's mean.

Whenever you see a parent, sibling, guardian or family with hyperactive child or what looks like temper tantrums, PLEASE SHOW COMPASSION!

Most times the situation is far more complicated than a spoiled, stubborn & misbehaving kid that doesn't want to listen or needs a nap.  Walking from the front door to the car is difficult some days, so imagine how frustrating social is for Autistic children.  

This can happen several times or all day until they go to bed....you just never know what will set them off.  Don't stare, instead give the family space & time to calm their Autistic Angel down during those stressful moments throughout the day.  

~Bindu
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MISSED MOMENTS

In my world I definitely miss so many moments of celebration.  Quality time with family & friends don't happen too often.  I can't just bring my child everywhere & I cannot just leave him with a babysitter.   

Sometimes it really is a lot to ask when your child is non-verbal or has any form of disability.  I don't worry about what others think, I worry about sensory overload.  When a child is sensitive to so many things it is painful for them.  


These experiences that seem minor can actually be 

traumatic in an autistic child's world. I always feel a heavy sense of responsibility to make my son's world happy, safe, comfortable & as peaceful as possible.

What seems like a major sacrifice to others is sometimes the only option for me.
I wouldn't have it any other way. ;-)

~Bindu

2 comments:

Cynthia said...

Bindu your thoughts will be so helpful to others to help them understand autism. I was a high school Social Worker for several years. At one time I had three classrooms of students on the spectrum. These were my favorite students! Unfortunately I had to learn a lot on my own,but it was worth it. I can't wait to spend time with Shane again. You are a great mom to all of your boys. Keep up the good work!

Unknown said...

@ Cynthia........Thank you so much! I appreciate your support. Bringing awareness is what I hope for. I hear people calling kids bad for acting out or having no self control in social settings when they may be under the spectrum. Having a child with Autism I have learned so much & actually notice signs of Autism or some form of disability within other children.

Children with disabilities are amazing & need more people like you around them. I can't wait for you to see Shane again too. I'm filling him up with a lot of love to share with family.