Sunday, January 5, 2014


What an honor and true privilege it is to be a mother.  What a blessing it is to carry life within you for nine months knowing that someone is dependent on you as a life force.  As I reflect on being pregnant with my baby bear, I had to pull out my pregnancy picture from when he was growing inside my womb.  I did it so I can get a sense of where my mind, heart, body, spirit and soul was seven years ago.  
I looked at my pregnancy photo and thought to myself.......YES!!! I AM IN FLOW! *THANKFUL*
I hoped and I prayed for a little girl but was blessed with a magnificent boy who turned out to be an Autistic Angel.  I was in a flow of gratitude and grace that fully prepared me to give birth to my blessing.  Although I suffered from depression during my pregnancy and post-partum depression after my pregnancy, I was curious to meet the life that I carried knowing that I would rise to the occasion as a mother.  I knew that I would be better each day for my child and always put his needs before mine. I look back at how I silently smiled through depression by talking, reading and singing to my son.

I put music on and danced.  I traveled and worked until I was put on bed rest.  I did everything possible to raise a good vibration no matter how I physically or emotionally felt.  I wanted a happy baby that smiled and laughed all of the time. Little did I know that I was carrying the biggest blessing that would turn into the best life lessons.  
When you are blessed with the privilege of carrying life inside of you, it really does bring about a whole other perspective to how you live your life.  Nothing can ever prepare you for parenthood but the one thing that can sustain you is love.  The tremendous flow of love that you can pour into the universe for your children is amazing.  It's been a long road but I traveled my path to parenthood very well.  I went from not being sure I wanted to be a parent to questioning if I was a good parent because I wanted everything to be perfect, to I got this!!!  I decided that I am just going to use my warrior spirit to lift my baby bear up in an abundance of unconditional love. 

Life it truly ironic because with all that I planned to offer him, it turned out that my son is the one who has lifted me up in an incredible amount of joy and love.  He does this daily for me.  There is not a morning that he does not wake up joyful, happy and smiling.  It brings a smile to my face each day.  He has lifted me up with love and joy from the day he was born.  I am so blessed to have him in my life.  Someone once told me that children with disabilities choose their parents.  I certainly do feel chosen!!!!
I'm happy that I did not receive exactly what I wished for, instead I was blessed with exactly what I need and it was so much better than I could ever imagine.  My son is truly an amazing bundle of joy!!!

I am assigned to my bear and I meet every challenge or change like a champion.  I don't teach my son more than he teaches me and everyone around him.
We live.  We laugh.  We love.  We learn. 


Theodosia said...

Happy Birthday Bear! Couldn't stop reading till the end....

Theodosia said...

Happy Birthday Bear......

Theodosia said...

Happy Birthday Bear


THANK YOU Theo!!!!!!! It was a blissful birthday for him but I was overjoyed to see how far we have grown as mother and son. Our bond has been the biggest blessing and I live in a space of gratitude for such a loving child.