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Friday, January 3, 2014

AUTHENTIC FRIENDSHIPS

"Dedicate yourself to building relationships on the solid foundation of truth and authenticity.” 
If authentic friendships are one of the keys to happiness then I would think that as you grow and change that it would be wise to distinguish between different types of friendships you have in life.  Your needs, desires and requirements should change over time so your friendships can develop and grow. 

I always wonder about how well people manage and conduct their friendships.  I see it as a juggling act. I see people claiming great friendships among circle of friends with a bunch of talk about ride or die and who has whose back BUT when push comes to shove.... Well lets just say that somebody always seems to get shoved right out into the cold.

There are many friendships that still function on a level where everyone are adults yet still behave like children and adolescents.  In all circles there is  always the strong friend, the wise friend, the too nice friend, the very controlling friend, the weak minded friend, the insecure friend, the fake friend, the attention whore, the I'm always a victim friend, the reckless friend, the too judgmental friend and so on and so on...  That's a lot of personalities to deal with as well as conflicting loyalties within your circle of friends. 

I also notice in friendships that people come to be so close and so open yet when push comes to shove they limit their truth to a select few within their circle.  We all have that close friend we take comfort in sharing with but truth is many times friends don't tell their friends the real truth about the emotional pain, struggles and hard times soon enough so they can gain the loving support they need.  

People usually share after life has spiraled out of control and their group of friends have gossiped but ignored what they see is going on.  Why not utilize weatherproof friendships during your storms? Surround yourself with a great friends who are a support system that will be honest with you because "THAT'S WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR."

I think it is wise to know why you are choosing friendships and what you have to offer your friends. I think it is wise to share and learn without all of your masks, hang ups, fears and insecurities. 
I think if you choose to surround yourself in groups with many circles of friends that everyone within those circles understand their purpose and place within your life.  Friends should know boundaries.  Friends should know unconditional love. 

Friends should know when to judge, talk, yell, hug, support and when to be silent and just listen without repeating what they heard.  I would think it must be difficult to manage and conduct authentic friendships when everyone maintain their masks.  Some masks are deep, dark and heavy but that is okay.  That is the purpose of true friendships.  We all have a side that friends don't really know but if friends do not know and understand your core self then how real are your friendships. 

Friends cannot see you, until you clearly see yourself.  When you see yourself your life lessons of self discovery begins.  Only then can you free yourself enough to embrace friendships authentically. 

NEVER FRIEND PEOPLE WITHOUT BEING CLEAR ON YOUR INTENTION WITHIN THEIR LIVES!  MOST IMPORTANT BE VERY CLEAR OF THEIR INTENTION IN YOUR LIF! 

Be fearless within your friendships so that the people who are meant to be a part of your life can become your family for the rest of your life.  If you don't know yourself it is tough to expect your friends to know you and love all of who you are. 
You cannot grow and develop your friendships in self-judgment, fear, envy, insecurity, ignorance, personal pain from your past, no accountability for your behavior or constant judgment of others.  If you don't know what you need then you won't know exactly what you have to offer. 

Just like everything in life, balance is the key to healthy friendships.  Start by just being you and stick to that script even as you grow, change and become more amazing than you already are.  It's not about the quantity of friends you have, it is about the quality of the friends you choose to offer your friendship to and surround yourself with. *PEACE*

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