Saturday, November 23, 2013


I've been holding a lot of sarcasm inside so it's time to release by sharing my New Family Rules for 2014:

1. If you live 15 minutes from me and I don't mess with you, it's safe to say in my eyes you're no longer considered family but I do wish you well. Carry on with your lives. Don't call us, we'll call you!

2. If you're a "close friend" of the family..........Ummm, I'll be the judge o
f that. In other words please keep in mind that YOU are close with MY family. I didn't choose you so don't assume WE are close or even cool. My selection process is a little tougher than theirs so lets just assume that you didn't make the cut. Don't call us, we'll call you!

3. Family can either hurt or they can heal. If I'm not sharing personal/private matters with you it's because either you can't handle the truth and I am considerate of that or you can't hold water and I am considerate of others who are involved.

4. If you claim we are family but you haven't figured out the basic DO's, like how to be kind, helpful, respectful, genuine, sincere OR the DON'TS like no envy, no foulness (I REPEAT) no envy, no foulness, no spreading rumors & lies because you're covering up BS you started which has hurt the family.......Carry on with your IMAGERY. Don't call us & we won't call you!

5. Train and school your friends/associates so they don't set themselves up to get their feelings hurt by family member..... but lets just say me for example. YOUR friends should not feel they can come to ME to discuss anything negative about people I adore because I will never side with them. Life is unfair & they should be warned about me in advance.

6. If we were close like 2 peas in a pod, but we no longer speak and there is zero communication, lets keep it going. Life is actually getting better for me & I wouldn't want to ruin it by letting negativity back in. Don't call really please don't!

7. If you deleted me from your Facebook page please, may I suggest you go hard or go home. I mean why delete when you can block me because how you do me on the internet is how I'm doing you in real life. I don't play no games on Facebook and I either go hard or I go home! Carry on with your IMAGERY!
8. There is no more because you are family you get unlimited chances to make our lives miserable with your personal drama. I've learned how to not allow my drama to affect or infect family. Now I'm almost 40 which means you've been around long enough to understand that if you ALWAYS have drama then YOU ARE DRAMA. If you didn't get it right by now you never will. In other're just foul! Don't call me......just me. Thank you kindly.

9. Please don't speak on behalf of the family and most certainly not on my behalf........that position has been & always will be filled! Thank you kindly!

10. The kids are not an excuse for us to come together as one. Chances are the apples don't fall far from the tree so if adults are foul & don't get along, the kids are smart enough to know it, copy it or become it. No need to involve them in family drama. Let them catch up when they mature, this will give them lots to talk about. Thank you kindly.

11. If some family members are successful and doing very well in life, love them like you love the losers in the family. Don't count other people's pennies, just raise the bar in your life & put in the dedication as well as the hard work it takes to be successful. This is how you get invites to special celebrations. No need to thank me..........You're welcome!

12. If you don't have a proven track record for putting out fires, saving souls or your name isn't Jesus please stop pretending to be savior in the family. That position has been filled by the nurturers and genuine caregivers who have the wisdom to offer and the skills required to assist when family is in crisis. May I suggest to just you first mind your business and second practice doing just that until further notice. Oh and don't call us, we'll call you!

13. If you're stupid and you know it, that is unfair to the rest of us so don't claim us as family without consent! Technically you're no longer family until a DNA test proves otherwise. If the test says YOU ARE can only associate with the side of the family we consider to be village idiots. Somebody has to lead the way so we must preserve the smart tribes!

14. Last but not least, if you think my new family rules are harsh, unfair or about you then simply add yourself to the "Don't call us, we'll call you" list. Feel free to turn your ringer off or leave it really makes no difference.  *F
eeling amused!*


Saye Cooper said...

What a great piece Bindu. I have been MIA from Facebook; but one thing that I miss about Facebook, are your inspirational posts. I can really relate to "New Family Rules For 2014" because I have experienced what you wrote. I also feel the same way. I have started to cut off people and just love people from a distance now.

Saye Cooper said...

Hey Bindu. That was a terrific piece you wrote. I have been away from Facebook for a while; but the one thing I do miss is the inspirational posts you make. I definitely know where you are coming from with this piece because I am going through it now. However; I am learning to not tolerate the nonsense that goes on in my family. Furthermore, I am learning to just love certain relatives from a distance or not waste my time with them. I applaud you for being truthful and speaking out on some of the family problems. I discovered how some relatives act as if they are living in Utopia and you can clearly see there are a lot of issues that need to be addressed instead of being brushed under a rug. Lastly, I hope that the problems that went on years ago do not affect or infect the younger generations that are coming up. I trust that they will be more united, sincere, and honest than those who came before them.


Hi Beautiful Saye!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU VERY MUCH! We all need to detox from social networking at different times in our lives. I am glad you've taken a Facebook break but I can assure you that you've been missed. Thank you for sharing your comments and thoughts regarding this post. I think a lot of families need to reevaluate and redefine their role as well as their place within the family relationships. We are more than our titles (mother, father, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc... within the family and we honor that by helping to heal instead of causing or adding hurt to our family. Unfortunately many families wear their masks because it covers their shame. I shared my thoughts based on life lessons that everyone can relate to. I believe honest communication shared in a healthy and loving way is the key to resolving family problems but people must be ready for it. We must be open and not closed off if we really want to resolve family problems. The biggest problem is that most family members get used to living lies and ignoring the truth. I deal with those who are ready to deal in truth. Everybody else I deal with from a distance because they are not ready to heal. You are very wise in how you handle family. At the end of the day it is important to protect our mental and emotional health. If our well being is not in tact then our families will not be either. Generations before us encouraged keeping harmful secrets and not digging deep down into the root cause of family problems so it will take the next generation to change how family matters will be handled. Change does come over time with each generation so plenty of love and patience is required. Within each family/household it will be the courage of the strong minded and very strong willed individuals to bring about a positive change. I know it can be done because I do it daily. This whole experience is part of our human experience on a spiritual journey so we must choose to live a life we love and never allow negativity within the family to infect our spirit. Stay positive no matter what and you will learn that anything is possible!

Stay blessed BEAUTIFUL SAYE!!!!!!