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Wednesday, April 3, 2013

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

This blog is all about life.  Everything I see, hear, feel, learn, do, discover or learned from others, I discuss it.  I love to people watch and listen to personal stories because it has inspired me to think, learn, understand and write!  Life has taught me that we are easily fooled and will buy into many beliefs, ideas, people and things that just do not serve us well at all.  Having "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" is one of them.  
I love breaking this one down so I searched online for the definitions before sharing my thoughts. 
Friends- "A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts."
Benefits-something that promotes or enhances well-being; an advantage".
Friends with benefits -"Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved.  Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment."

Here we go....This didn't happen to me as a teen, so I get confused at adults who have long time friendships thinking that this is a good idea because they are single or not in a good space.  If it were me....not gonna happen!!!!!  What are people thinking??  Especially women, who know that they are very emotional.  If they are into a man then they are going to catch feelings.  Once we catch feeling and don't get want we want, we start to behave in a very unstable manner because they want to become more than just friends.  Who are people trying to fool with that friends with benefits crap.  Not me!
Somebody is going to get their little feelings crushed in the process because that is not friendship.  Even in friendships you have emotions because you at the very least care greatly about your friends.  You wouldn't want to hurt them or use them for sex until you find Mr. or Mrs. Right.  That kind of thinking does not benefit anyone. 

I'm going to be 100% raw, honest and give real talk right now when I say I do know and I am aware that there are men and women who can, will and do sex people all the time like it is no big deal, but THAT'S NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's your body, your temple that should be and feel like a sacred place. As we all know everybody cannot nor should they enter a sacred place. As far as I am concern people are trippin! Just like people have free will to do as they please, I have free will to say, THAT'S NASTY!  Careful the affection and attention that you crave because most times it will lead you astray. It's seeking love and affection but in all of the wrong ways.

Close your legs, mouth and every other body part with a hole in it.  Seriously, what's up with people (both men and women) whoring themselves out then talking about settling down.  Fact: That doesn't work out too well for women. They usually have to fool a guy into believing that their past is not wild.

What's up with bragging about it and not thinking that the people you share personal information with and you're telling sexual history to are your real friends and won't judge you.  They will! They are telling everybody but you.

The trust is that people do want to be with someone they are proud of in every way.  Nobody wants to settle down with no nasty ass that isn't smart enough to not talk about it.  Sorry, just keeping it real raw right now.  They will sleep with you but not trying to settle down with you if they know you get down like that.  Please do not share that part of your past, that's common sense. If you didn't know better now you do.  Leave your past in the past.....be smart!
If your friend knows you put your sex on display and they don't respect you, they will present you with the FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS package.  Don't fall for that game.  That's not sexy.  People will just lie to you by feeding your head with a bunch of *BS* to have sex with you.  Is that really showing respect for your friendship? People will feed your ego and tell you what they think that you want hear so they can sex you....that's it! You're an object, just like a basketball and when the game is over the ball will get tossed, put to the side or just dropped.  

You will find yourself worse of than before because somebody will always get hurt.  You can't play love games within your friendships and not think that you won't get hurt, when two people who choose to be in relationships get hurt all of the time.  


Check your emotions and stop getting things twisted in life and setting yourself up for an epic fail!  Once you catch feelings you will have a problem if your "FRIEND" sexing somebody else or if they are willing to invest their love into somebody else.  You will get hurt!

Know your worth and value yourself so the right person can treat you like the queen or king that you are.  Are you only worth casual sex and a hangout buddy or are you worthy of investing time, energy, love, nurturing and support? 

People need to stop and think about their choices in friendships and relationships.  What kind of friend is focused on sexing you?  Either your friendship is growing into a healthy relationship or it's just a healthy friendship. 


Why complicate your life by getting things twisted when you know what it really is?  Who is really benefiting from having sex with a friend?  And how is it beneficial to you?  Most important where is your worth and value in this so called friendship?  


I guess because I am a woman living in a society where women are constantly fooled into believing they are powerful because of their sexuality, I clearly see the set up right away.  News flash, you are only powerful if you protect it by treating it as something sacred.  Who wants a trophy for being great at sex?  That is not an achievement.  I did not know that there are actually "porn awards" where women stand up proud for sexually pleasing others.  I think that pimp game is powerful. WTF!!!!


The chick that says having a bunch of people have sex with her PROUDLY is numb to life.  Her soul has to be so sick. She's telling lies to herself just to get by in life, because she has adjusted to being abused.  When we begin to accept what is wrong, we are in denial and blind to our true value and worth. You should make people earn the right to be in your life, especially sexually.  They should be worthy of it. YOU MATTER!  

I see women who are completely oblivious to things that are right in their faces.  We are sacred, we are powerful and no we should not be flattered so easily just because we are the chosen one for somebody to have sex with and "be cool" with.  Not cool!

Where is your worth?  How valuable is sex when anybody can do it?  Your sex is not valuable, you are valuable.  Do not put yourself in a position that will benefit your friend and lower your self worth at the same time.  Never do those kind of favors because it will make your soul sick.  If it doesn't, then soul search yourself!

You ever hang around some people, it could be a bunch of friends and there is somebody in the group that is just so thirsty to sex people in the name of friendship? They are all cool and hang out all of the time but the truth is the INTENT is to sex somebody.  Why put yourself in that position or associate with that kind of energy?  People give off energy all the time.  A person's vibe and energy can feel alright or all wrong!


My wishful thinking is for people to just value themselves in life.  Change your thinking and get your worth up!!! If you ever find yourself in a "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" situation, please just ask yourself these questions: 
Which friend will benefit the most?  And which friend will be hurt the most?  Being hurt by a friend is never beneficial! 

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