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Wednesday, April 24, 2013

*VALUE YOURSELF*

How do you value yourself?  For me I just do it. I stop what is negative in my life and do what is positive for my self esteem and confidence.  If I had to give advice on where to start when trying to figure out how to value yourself, I guess I would say you can start by deciding to   SOUL SEARCH YOURSELF! 

You start with deciding what kind of peace you want within your life and go for it.  You start with surrendering all of the negativity that you carry and hold within you towards yourself and others.  You start with your shame and forgiving yourself.  You start with your doubt and not believing your fears.  


You start with your self-loathing and change it to self-love.  You start with everything that has helped you build up walls, so you can find the tools that you need to break those walls down.  When you destroy what destroys you then you can value yourself.  When you value the treasure that you are you can live life through love and stay right there. 


You stay right in the bosom of love, faith and hope that you are enough and worthy.  In love you no longer have to fight meaningless battles because you know your worth and understand how to value yourself.  You don't have to fight the world.  You don't have to wear many masks. You don't have to fight your feelings or emotions when you find the strength that you need to stop doing things that will hurt you in life.  


What you choose to say, do and become is what you will be.  Choose to value all that you are.  Choose to do what will show your value in this world.  Choose to become the treasure that you were born to be.  You have to value yourself before you can expect others to value you.  How others treat you is directly connected to how you value yourself.  


When you learn to value yourself, that becomes a turning point in your life. In order for your life to reach a turning point and move in the direction you need it to grow you must be willing to turn.  When you value who you are and what you have to offer this world, you will turn.  You will turn your life around because you're worthy.


When you willing choose to open up yourself to truth, you will grow from your pain and search your soul deep enough to see the importance of why you must VALUE YOURSELF!  

Monday, April 22, 2013

THE DISEASE TO PLEASE

One of my many life lessons is about people pleasing.  Going all out to please people will be the death of you!  Why?  Because you are unconsciously training people to depend on your kindness, benefit from your weakness and unintentionally use you.  

That makes no sense.  When the lines between helping someone while hurting yourself emotionally in the process becomes blurred, that is a red flag!  Sometimes you have to ask yourself, "What is it about me that I need to please?" 


Do you not believe that people will still love and care for you if you tell them NO?  Are you afraid of the people you try to please seeing you as anything but their savior? Do you feel bad about hurting another person's feelings so much that you sacrifice your sanity in the process?  


Do you benefit from it in some way?  Is it manipulation on your part to get people to see you in a good light so they don't peep your flaws, failures and fears?  Do you not feel good enough about you who are that you would subject yourself to be taken advantage of?  What drives your disease to please?


I often hear people say, "I love helping people".  Now that is a beautiful thing.  I love helping people too but I do believe that "a closed mouth does not get fed".  If you want to get fed then you must be willing to learn how to fish and not be open to handouts and being saved all of the time.  If not, you will always depend on the kindness of other which sucks for those with the disease to please.


I am happy to help, but my aim is not to please people.  That's a privilege. If I am aiming to please you then surely you have proven to be worthy of pleasing and no it won't be all of the time.  Worthy means willing to also please, support and encourage me too.

Balance is key in life.  It is very difficult to balance your life out when you spend a portion of your life pleasing others.

WHERE IS THE SELF LOVE IN THAT?

There really is a very thin line between helping people and hindering them.  What is your intention for the person you are pleasing?  Whether intentional or unintentional, you are getting something out of what you are giving.  People do not do things that does not benefit them in some way.  Benefits are not always money or things.  


There is an emotional benefit from that disease to please.  Perhaps, it is a form of external validation to make you feel good about yourself.  Maybe it could be manipulation to keep that person right where you want them, which is about maintaining control over them in some way. You do more damage to yourself and others in the long run when you have that disease to people please.  


You are teaching people to always expect you to give more of yourself, to depend on you to do for them.  You are allowing yourself to be used, abused by not saying NO to your desire to people please.  It is either manipulation, control or lack of self worth on your part because you need them to prove that you are a good person. 


If you have that disease to please in life, it really is time to soul search yourself!


"Give but don't allow yourself to be USED.  Love but don't allow your heart to be ABUSED. Trust but don't be NAIVE. Listen but don't lose your OWN VOICE." 

Sunday, April 21, 2013

"THE LITTLE GIRL WITHIN"

I have never met a woman who didn't have something brilliant to contribute to society and the world. I've just met women who weren't aware that they possess the power to make a major impact on the world.

Unfortunately the reality is that females are born and bred to be exploited in some way. This global occurrence is so much of a norm that we now exploit ourselves without realizing the consequences of our actions.

Our living conditions and environment along with what the world will expose us to will always influence us. Girls are paying attention and acting out based on what they hear and see. Whether we want to acknowledge it or not, little girls are looking to be led from childhood throughout girlhood and well into adulthood.

There is nothing more heartbreaking to witness than that "LITTLE GIRL WITHIN" still struggling to gain the strength, knowledge and the wisdom needed to evolve into an empowered woman.

Her head should always be held high as the world acknowledge her for who she is, a beautifully divine woman of strength! A woman who missed out on her childhood, girlhood, her chance to become a well rounded young lady who deserves nothing but the best life can give her.

Now she's "GROWN".....A full grown woman yet still just a little girl within, who needs a chance to win as a woman and in life!


-Written by BINDU

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

THOUGHTS ON QUOTES #2

I say this and a lot of things all of the time but let me be clear that I have worked tirelessly and still do towards growth. I work on my emotional and spiritual growth daily. I work on my mental health in order to gain emotional intelligence. 

I reflect on my life to learn me. It's all about self discovery and it's not easy because there are many days that I do not like the me that I see. I had to learn how to change what I do not like or love about myself and that takes a certain level of awareness. 

I cannot be in denial about my own issues. I have to own them and be fully accountable for all of my wrongs so I can be right within. Growth is work but why else are we here? Anything that is not growing is dead and we are alive and well so why not live in a space of gratitude so we can grow in life? 

Sunday, April 14, 2013

THOUGHTS ON QUOTES #1

PLEASE let me know if I am wrong with my thoughts on this quote. I feel people should stop blaming "Satan" for things that they do.  It doesn't make sense!!
Photo: Sunday Message

We need Men to Step up and be fathers to those that have no fathers. We need fathers that ain't been fathers to become fathers. We have to return the Father figure back to our Community. It takes a village to raise a child but it takes a father to help raise strong Men! Today this is my prayer!! Gods will be done!!
People can pray all day long but if they do not learn that discipline is required if they want to achieve goals in order to succeed in life then it's not Satan's fault, it's their fault. I don't do the debate thing therefore I do not do the religious debate. 

I go hard logically as I see things, so this is not about church or religion.  I would love for this to make sense to me but it does not.  I do respect another perspective on all topics, so help me understand this one.

I don't think it's Satan as much as it is a lack of accountability for your actions. I have no doubt that when men choose to "MAN UP" then Satan will no longer get at them to destroy their families.  It is a matter of choices and decisions.  If you make foolish choices and decisions then do everything to make things right.


To me this is just common sense. If you have sex with a woman and create a child, is it Satan's penis that poked then knocked her up???? Is it Satan that makes a man never give a dime or spend quality time to support their child?? Did Satan do that?? Maybe it's me but some things don't add up and Satan getting blamed for everything is one of them. 


Men know what they have to do to "MAN UP" because they see other men supporting their children, women and families. How come Satan isn't destroying those men who have the discipline it takes to man up. Why doesn't Satan destroy those men??? 


I see real men handling their business all of the time and it is a struggle for them but they love their family so they work hard and they sacrifice out of love. It's called manhood!! A man who works hard so his child can have their needs met. A man who hugs, kisses and spends time with his children because it makes him happy, not because he feels like it's a HUGE sacrifice to just love his children. 


Please use Satan for other issues and not as an excuse for basic family needs. A boy makes excuses but a man will find a way to make it happen for his family, especially his children. Everything is not about money all of the time. Change a diaper, take them for a walk or to a park and just make a plan to provide a safe, nurturing and loving environment for them to live and be educated. 


Whatever environment your child is exposed to will educate them whether you do it or not. If their home is negative then they will learn to be negative. If they are living in poverty then they will have a poverty mindset. If you don't educate them about life then life will teach them lessons that could very well destroy them. It's not Satan, it your lack of discipline and commitment to your family. 


I see real men care for their families all of the the time so I can't help but think some men put their own immature, ignorant and selfish needs before what their family needs are. Either your children and family is your top priority or they are NOT!! What makes it worse is I blame women who choose these kind of men and then complain that Satan is out to destroy their man and family. 


Listen up, hold men accountable for their actions by not having more kids with them when they do not support the first child. You're a repeat offender too. Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, then shame on me but hey I could be wrong here. 


Again PLEASE let me know if I am wrong because I'm still learning in life but damn, this is one lesson that I figured out a long time ago. It ain't Satan, it's lack of discipline.!!


"CATS OUT THE BAG", cause it is not Satan, it's just you making poor choices in life.  As always, just my thoughts! 

Sunday, April 7, 2013

*SAYE'S HERITAGE & TRUTH*

LIBERIAN PATRIOTS-THE TRUE SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF THE LIBERIAN SOIL 
Over the years Liberian patriots made major contributions and broke down barriers within Liberian society. The late Honorable Robert H. Quellie-Kennedy, Sr., my maternal grandfather is among many patriotic Liberians who contributed to the advancement of Liberian society. My grandfather was born in the Zozoma District of Lofa County. At the age of seven, he left Zozoma to live with the Pittman Kennedy family in Careysburg, Montserrado, County.
He obtained a good education because his adopted family could afford to educate him. During that time period my grandfather was among the few fortunate indigenous people who were able to acquire an education and graduate from the University of Liberia. In May 1955 my grandfather married Gertrude H. Harris of Harrisburg. My grandmother is of the Congo/Caribbean ethnic group. A few months into my grandparents’ marriage, they both decided to go back to the Western Province and give back to their indigenous people.
Throughout their early years in Lofa, my grandfather was a school teacher and my grandmother a school nurse and a mid wife. My grandmother did her part by encouraging pregnant women to give birth at the local clinic, instead of their homes because giving birth at home can be quite risky. She also explained how it was important for pregnant women to go to the Doctor, during each trimester. Furthermore, my grandmother instructed classes based on reproductive health and personal hygiene.
I am happy to say that my grandparents were able to help give the education that they received to others in Lofa County. As time passed, my grandfather progressed and became the first principal of the new Voinjama High School. On the other hand, external and internal pressure was placed on the Tubman government to open the provinces of Liberia. In 1964, the Eastern and Western Provinces were made into four counties by an act of the Liberian Legislature. The new counties that became part of the political sub-division of Liberia were Lofa, Nimba Grand Gedeh and Bong Counties. President Tubman then appointed Hon. Robert H.Q.Kennedy, Sr., Hon. Gabriel G. Farngalo, Hon. Moses P. Harris, Sr. and Hon. James Y. Gbarbea as superintendents respectively of the new counties. However, the superintendent position was the last contribution my grandfather made for his county and Liberia from 1964 through 1968. During my grandfather's term, my grandmother assisted in designing the Lofa county flag and then other counties followed the Lofa insignia in designing and creating their own flags.
Furthermore my grandfather often distributed scholarships to Lofa students; in order to further their education at the University of Liberia. In addition, other Superintendents of Lofa county followed my grandfather’s path. All the way through my grandfather’s term and President Tolbert’s administration; students from Lofa County became the highest graduates of the University of Liberia.
As compared to my grandfather, the late Honorable Gabriel G. Farngalo, James Y. Gbarbea Moses Poka Harris and Henry B. Fahnbulleh were educated indigenous men who went back to their counties and also became Superintendents with the exception of Hon. Henry B. Fahnbulleh who represented Liberia as an Ambassador to several African and Asian nations. In the course of Tubman's administration, Kennedy, Farngalo, Gbarbea and Fahnbulleh began to discover how most indigenous Liberians were unfairly treated and suppressed; they began to speak out against Tubman's administration and others did as well.
In 1968, Ambassador Henry B. Fahnbulleh Sr., Superintendents Robert H.Q. Kennedy Sr., Gabriel G. Farngalo and James Y. Gbarbea were charged with conspiracy and high treason to overthrow the Tubman's administration. They were thrown in jail for more than a year. The charges against my grandfather and the other men were a BIG FAT LIE. I believe that Tubman was intimidated by these great men; so that's why he made them a scape goat. I believe that President Tubman was afraid that the Americo-Liberian elite were no longer going to be dominant in the Liberian political affairs. I also believe that Tubman was intimidated by these great men; so that's why he made them a scape goat because they could have possibly ran the Liberian government just as good as him. Educated, Patriotic, Selfless, and Peaceful Indigenous men like my grandfather could have been President back then. The point here is that we should all in one form or another give back to Liberia instead of pointing fingers at the next person and bringing each other down.
In my opinion my grandparents, Farngalo, Gbarbea, Harris and Fahnbulleh are Liberian patriots –The True Sons of The Liberian Soil because they never used violence to fight for what they believed in. Instead after they received their education, they went back to the interior and gave back to their communities and the Liberian society. They also helped to educate their people.
Now that it is 2013, it is time to let go of the negativity and emulate the men and women who positively contributed to Liberia’s improvement in the past. Also, Liberians that are today contributing positively to our improvement are worth emulation. Finally, Liberia’s advancement will not take a day, but let us all try to get our country where it needs to be.

Written and expressed by
SAYE C. COOPER

Friday, April 5, 2013

WILLING YOUR WAY

Willing your way can be a good thing or not.  It depends on if it is applied to you in order to better yourself and grow.  The flip side is that "willing your way" is also the same as, beating somebody in the head to benefit you and not them.  

The flip side in my eyes, is a form of emotional interrogation, usually done through manipulation without pure intentions.  You cannot force your will upon others.  If that's not a universal law, then it should be one.  I see people willing their way onto others and into other people's lives all of the time.  

If you have to force a person through manipulation, deceit, trickery, mind games or physically to get them to see and do things your way, PROBLEM!  That is a huge problem and people seem to do this on many different levels like it is not big deal.  NOT OKAY!!!!!

You have no right to will your way on anybody but yourself.  People do this when they want to get a person to do or see things their way.  They want to get them to agree, cosign, say and do certain things that the person may disagree with, go against, feel is wrong or just do not want to do.  


When you have to push, stress or force anyone to say or do something to satisfy your desires or needs, something is wrong with that picture in your life.  We all have free will but many people misuse and abuse that privilege.  Worry about yourself and your own life.  


Let people interact with you freely. If they do not live up to your expectations or if they disappoint you, then freely let them be and leave them alone.  If you hang onto every little thing for the purpose of control or validation your feelings, then you will limit your personal growth.  You will also destroy friendships and relationships.  

Willing your way is not living your life through love. When you love, treasure and value yourself, you will trust  life.  When you don't trust life, you will not trust yourself, which means that you will intentionally or unintentionally will your way onto other people.  


You would think that this just happens within a business setting, where people must negotiate deals and transactions to benefit their company or themselves.  Not so much.  I see many adults do it to children.  I see it happening in many friendships. I see it in relationships.  I see it among family members.  


The truth of the matter is that this is about control.  When you are out of control within yourself, there will be internal chaos and turmoil.  Anything internal, will manifest itself outside of you in many different ways.  If you feel the need to "will your way" and have to force people through manipulation, then there is a heavy level of fear and insecurity that is driving you.  


You must let go of your fears and your insecurities so you can replace it with love, so you can learn how to have faith. The force that drives each of us is very powerful.  It can be a powerful positive motivating force or it can be a powerful negative motivating force.  Let LOVE, FAITH and HOPE be your force in this world.  Life is that simple!

*PEACE & BLESSINGS*

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

This blog is all about life.  Everything I see, hear, feel, learn, do, discover or learned from others, I discuss it.  I love to people watch and listen to personal stories because it has inspired me to think, learn, understand and write!  Life has taught me that we are easily fooled and will buy into many beliefs, ideas, people and things that just do not serve us well at all.  Having "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" is one of them.  
I love breaking this one down so I searched online for the definitions before sharing my thoughts. 
Friends- "A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts."
Benefits-something that promotes or enhances well-being; an advantage".
Friends with benefits -"Two friends who have a sexual relationship without being emotionally involved.  Typically two good friends who have casual sex without a monogamous relationship or any kind of commitment."

Here we go....This didn't happen to me as a teen, so I get confused at adults who have long time friendships thinking that this is a good idea because they are single or not in a good space.  If it were me....not gonna happen!!!!!  What are people thinking??  Especially women, who know that they are very emotional.  If they are into a man then they are going to catch feelings.  Once we catch feeling and don't get want we want, we start to behave in a very unstable manner because they want to become more than just friends.  Who are people trying to fool with that friends with benefits crap.  Not me!
Somebody is going to get their little feelings crushed in the process because that is not friendship.  Even in friendships you have emotions because you at the very least care greatly about your friends.  You wouldn't want to hurt them or use them for sex until you find Mr. or Mrs. Right.  That kind of thinking does not benefit anyone. 

I'm going to be 100% raw, honest and give real talk right now when I say I do know and I am aware that there are men and women who can, will and do sex people all the time like it is no big deal, but THAT'S NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's your body, your temple that should be and feel like a sacred place. As we all know everybody cannot nor should they enter a sacred place. As far as I am concern people are trippin! Just like people have free will to do as they please, I have free will to say, THAT'S NASTY!  Careful the affection and attention that you crave because most times it will lead you astray. It's seeking love and affection but in all of the wrong ways.

Close your legs, mouth and every other body part with a hole in it.  Seriously, what's up with people (both men and women) whoring themselves out then talking about settling down.  Fact: That doesn't work out too well for women. They usually have to fool a guy into believing that their past is not wild.

What's up with bragging about it and not thinking that the people you share personal information with and you're telling sexual history to are your real friends and won't judge you.  They will! They are telling everybody but you.

The trust is that people do want to be with someone they are proud of in every way.  Nobody wants to settle down with no nasty ass that isn't smart enough to not talk about it.  Sorry, just keeping it real raw right now.  They will sleep with you but not trying to settle down with you if they know you get down like that.  Please do not share that part of your past, that's common sense. If you didn't know better now you do.  Leave your past in the past.....be smart!
If your friend knows you put your sex on display and they don't respect you, they will present you with the FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS package.  Don't fall for that game.  That's not sexy.  People will just lie to you by feeding your head with a bunch of *BS* to have sex with you.  Is that really showing respect for your friendship? People will feed your ego and tell you what they think that you want hear so they can sex you....that's it! You're an object, just like a basketball and when the game is over the ball will get tossed, put to the side or just dropped.  

You will find yourself worse of than before because somebody will always get hurt.  You can't play love games within your friendships and not think that you won't get hurt, when two people who choose to be in relationships get hurt all of the time.  


Check your emotions and stop getting things twisted in life and setting yourself up for an epic fail!  Once you catch feelings you will have a problem if your "FRIEND" sexing somebody else or if they are willing to invest their love into somebody else.  You will get hurt!

Know your worth and value yourself so the right person can treat you like the queen or king that you are.  Are you only worth casual sex and a hangout buddy or are you worthy of investing time, energy, love, nurturing and support? 

People need to stop and think about their choices in friendships and relationships.  What kind of friend is focused on sexing you?  Either your friendship is growing into a healthy relationship or it's just a healthy friendship. 


Why complicate your life by getting things twisted when you know what it really is?  Who is really benefiting from having sex with a friend?  And how is it beneficial to you?  Most important where is your worth and value in this so called friendship?  


I guess because I am a woman living in a society where women are constantly fooled into believing they are powerful because of their sexuality, I clearly see the set up right away.  News flash, you are only powerful if you protect it by treating it as something sacred.  Who wants a trophy for being great at sex?  That is not an achievement.  I did not know that there are actually "porn awards" where women stand up proud for sexually pleasing others.  I think that pimp game is powerful. WTF!!!!


The chick that says having a bunch of people have sex with her PROUDLY is numb to life.  Her soul has to be so sick. She's telling lies to herself just to get by in life, because she has adjusted to being abused.  When we begin to accept what is wrong, we are in denial and blind to our true value and worth. You should make people earn the right to be in your life, especially sexually.  They should be worthy of it. YOU MATTER!  

I see women who are completely oblivious to things that are right in their faces.  We are sacred, we are powerful and no we should not be flattered so easily just because we are the chosen one for somebody to have sex with and "be cool" with.  Not cool!

Where is your worth?  How valuable is sex when anybody can do it?  Your sex is not valuable, you are valuable.  Do not put yourself in a position that will benefit your friend and lower your self worth at the same time.  Never do those kind of favors because it will make your soul sick.  If it doesn't, then soul search yourself!

You ever hang around some people, it could be a bunch of friends and there is somebody in the group that is just so thirsty to sex people in the name of friendship? They are all cool and hang out all of the time but the truth is the INTENT is to sex somebody.  Why put yourself in that position or associate with that kind of energy?  People give off energy all the time.  A person's vibe and energy can feel alright or all wrong!


My wishful thinking is for people to just value themselves in life.  Change your thinking and get your worth up!!! If you ever find yourself in a "FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS" situation, please just ask yourself these questions: 
Which friend will benefit the most?  And which friend will be hurt the most?  Being hurt by a friend is never beneficial! 

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

AUTISM AWARENESS *LIGHT IT UP BLUE*

April is Autism Awareness month and today is World Autism Awareness Day.
My blog is about life.  It's about every single that can and will happen in life. It's about the highs and the lows.  It's about the joy and the h     ope that life can bring us each day.  When life doesn't bring us hope the we have to go out and make make life happen.  Part of my life is bringing awareness to people about Autism.  I was completely clueless and very ignorant about Autism and most disabilities until I gave birth to my son.
He is an amazing Autistic Soul.....the soul that ignites a kind of spark that will blaze across this universe.  He is my star seed and my personal truth.  He is my eyes, ears, thoughts, feelings and sweetest dreams.  My love for my son erupts like volcanoes and but never subsides.  In my eyes life can only get more amazing because his light and loving energy has truly touched my soul.  He is truly the *ooooo* in goooooodness!  He is sucha priceless treasure who has a silence that can your core.  He speaks the language of love through his positive energy.
*BEST DAY EVER* 
Reaching milestones is a cause for celebration but when your child has a disability it becomes a MAJOR cause to celebrate every obstacle they overcome.
Some things parents take for granted, like taking their kids for haircuts. My son finally allowed his dad to give him a hair cut. We've waited almost 5 years for this moment. It has truly been such a stressful struggle for my family. 
Just seeing your child who is delayed actually making excellent progress with learning, behavior, and development is AMAZING!!! Tears of joy were flowing.
I couldn't even get a clear pic because my hand was shaking and I started crying. Just a joyful hot mess of tears right now. *SO GRATEFUL* 
My son has been the biggest and best blessing in our family.  Our lives are so much brighter because he has light up our world and made it beautiful!! 
HE IS LOVED BEYOND MEASURE!!!!