Sunday, January 20, 2013


Oh boy! It feels odd to talk about myself because I feel anyone can say whatever. And not many people feel like they are NOT "good"  or "great" people.  I can honestly say my heart is great and I possess the greatest attribute of all. Everything I do or say is deeply rooted in love, thus making me ALL great.
Corinthians 13:13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I think a lot of folks have everything that I have, but the one thing they don't have, is my heart.  I know you're like, of course you would say that about yourself.  But that fact can be validated by ANYONE that has ever come in contact with me on a personal level, intimate or friendship.  
I have a sincere humility, compassion and appreciation for life, God and people.  As I have gotten older, my compassion has increased.  I feel comfortable showing my vulnerabilities.  I no longer feel the need to "play tough" all the time. I always say, "I am a host of contradictions", many layers to peel back but all me.
I don't understand any limitations in life and that has really helped me to be successful. I am not the smartest, or hardest working person out there, but I have landed opportunities simply because I have balls, and I am unafraid to ask for it. Many people do themselves a disservice by not going for something or someone because they feel it's out of their league. I, on the other hand operate under the notion, "you never try, you'll never know". 
We have access to more resources than anytime in history with the Internet at our fingertips. I will never understand why there are things, folks want to know about, but don't want to expend the energy to do their homework. A lazy mind and attitude costs and will keep you back. Successful people wake up in the morning and make things happen. Not wait for them. I am a go getter and will NEVER stop.
Personal growth to me means staying open for change at all times and moving out of your comfort zone constantly. That's with anything including but not limited to love, job, living conditions, friends or family. As you move through life you come to realize many things do not stay the same and many people will come in and out of your life. If you want to reach the purpose God has for you, you have got to become comfortable with this fact. I love hard and give everything my all, that way I seldom have regrets. 
Instead I realize that God uses things and people to teach us lessons in life. It's a preparation for your destination. I get the lesson and keep it moving. I am always ready move, find a new job or do whatever I have to do to stay above water. 
I am NEVER too attached to anything and my happiness is not contingent upon material possessions. I always say I can NEVER fall. I can lose everything I have today, but I know I have acquired the wisdom and knowledge to gain it all back and more. Wisdom trumps education all day long!
Before I never knew my true value. I knew I was special but didn't know how much. I felt humble and if I thought too much of myself it was "tacky". Now? LOL! Well now is another story. I definitely know my worth and how special and anointed I am. 
Anyone worthy of my time will have to prove it because I come with so many intangibles that I thought was just "normal". Through my life's journey, I now know that I am certainly not normal. I am a commodity and take myself as such, while still displaying humility and kindness for all.
My most prized achievement has been the ability to love unconditionally after repeatedly getting my heart stomped on. For some reason I have not lost the ability or desire to love unconditionally.  I have learned that the only thing about building walls is that it does not just keep pain out, it blocks love from coming in too. Love is the therapy that soothes the burns of life. 
How can one allow God to be the Author and Finisher of their fate unless they place their own pen down and sacrifice to His will? When will we realize that controlling today could come at the expense of hurting our tomorrow? I am so ready to love again, I am just smarter and wiser now.
You have to be radical enough to step over your history and move into your destiny ~Julian Addo~
All I know is I know nothing. Life is my classroom, I must pay attention. God is my teacher, there is no failure.
My mother definitely motivates me each and every day to keep going. As she ages, I know I will need to be in a position to care for her financially and emotionally. That single fact keeps me from screwing up too deeply. She is what I strive to be like and what I strive to NOT be like all at the same time. I have opportunities and resources she did not have access to. 
On the other hand, my mom is the hardest working person I know. She is NEVER late to work. NEVER calls out and NEVER complains about working. She has BIG dreams and BIG goals and is naive about her limitations. She doesn't know what she can't do and thinks she can do it all. My mom has been able to live and maintain the American dream since we were kids.
We never needed welfare or handouts, not that there's anything wrong if you need the help. But she was hell bent on getting her own, and not waiting for someone else to give it to her.  We always made it even if we ate rice and butter, and went to bed.  
She doesn't make very much money, but pays all her bills on time and has money in the bank.  She taught me first hand how managing your finances at any level is the key. I love her spirit but always knew I would do better. God bless her heart. I do it for her, for her latter years. I must keep going farther, I have no ceiling.
Seldom do we see real love... it's such a commodity. When you run into a love giver you will always see a crowd. Love is attractive, it's sexy. 
If you don't see people drawn to you, clamoring around you, maybe it's because your well is dry. It's not enough that you have it, love only works when you give it. 
You have to be strong to love, to risk being hurt and keep giving it away. You have to be strong to put yourself on "front" street. You have to be strong enough to be you. LOVE is power, and not for the faint hearted...
People make it hard because we are all trying to find something in others we have not found within ourselves. I can honestly say I will continue to love and not allow life to make me hard. 


Family is family, they don't go no where. I think sometimes we feel it's OK for them to get away with more things because they hold a title. I use to. I love my family but there are some you have to love from a distance. 

I prefer to maintain close healthy relationships, even with folks who carry a title. I think if they are your family, the bar should be raised not lowered. 
Sometimes we treat strangers better than we treat our loved ones and that is no longer acceptable to me. I give out what I want to come back, and if it doesn't, then the relationship won't work, family or not.



Friendships are hard, I mean REAL friendships. I have been blessed with 2 or 3 of these so far in my life time. They take energy, time, money and resources to maintain. I'm not above anyone else but I caution who I allow in this realm.
Only because I know there is not enough of me to go around and I don't want to spread myself too thin. I want to maximize your benefit from our friendship and ensure that we continue to help each other grow. 
Keep your business and personal emotions separate. Many people do not understand this and they are their own worst enemies in a business.
You have to be comfortable with criticism and honest about your opportunity areas. Most people call them haters, but those folks can help you grow if only you stop being so sensitive.
A critic will look and point out your flaws. It doesn't mean you don't have good things going in your business. It just means you have an opportunity to challenge yourself to do better. 
Many times loved ones will not give it to us straight like a critic will. Being in business will definitely challenge who you think you are. Dealing with other's will mature you fast! LOL!!
Honestly, opportunities just fell on me. I was in the right place, at the right time kind of thing.  Something happened, that caused something else to happen.  It has been through misfortune and having to make tough life decisions, that led me to all of my greatest accomplishments so far. 
I left N.Y. to join my family in MN because I was broken hearted and lonely.  I didn't have anyone around that I felt loved me and some folks in Park Hill (SHAOLIN ISLAND), knew my light and made it their life's mission to dim it.  1998 was a rough year for me.  I started dating my ex-husband and was greeted with a lot of hate and ugly rumors that were untrue. I was unhappy so I decided to just leave. That was one of the BEST moves in my life.
The young people are so much more advanced in the mid-west than in NYC with regards to family and finances.  NY taught me how to be a hustler, but MN taught me how to multiply my hustle, work smart, not hard.  Then, I was to be married in August of 2002. My then fiancĂ© lost his job in April of that year and we had a wedding to finish paying for.  I ran my own salon at that time while attending school in the evenings.  Financially I was always the bread winner. 
I accompanied him to a small company to fill out a job application and because he was taking too long and out of boredom, I decided to fill out an application myself.  Well, the company ended up offering me a job and not him. That company was Arcadia/ TranSouth who was later bought out by  Citigroup. 
That started my career in the financial industry. I worked 2 jobs, at my salon and at the bank and went to school, full time to make ends meet and continue paying for a wedding. I made the tough decision to sell my salon after doing this for 2 years to see if I could climb this corporate ladder for a steady paycheck and health benefits out of necessity. It was hard leaving the salon and all my clients were in shock, the only thing I had known.  
Next, I relocated to Dallas with Citigroup because they shut down operations in Minnesota, over 500 employees laid off with no job. I had no kids and nothing tying me to Minneapolis, so against the will of my then husband, I decided to move to Dallas on my own. That was the 2nd best move in my life. 10 years later, I am an Assistant Vice President for one of the largest banks in the country. 
Through tragedy, come triumph is my testimony. I finally understand what the bible means by' The steps of a good man, is ordered by the Lord". All of my steps were ordered because I was supposed to be here. But God has to make it uncomfortable for me to make those decisions. They were not willingfully made, they were out of necessity.

I don't even know how I managed to do half of the things I did, so early in life. Some people find it difficult to do some of the stuff I have done. But really it has just been the grace of God on my life. There are people who go to school and take courses to be able to do things I've done.  There are people who wished they had the creativity and wisdom, that God just dropped on me. 
I have always gone back to school for my gifts after the fact. I was doing hair professionally at 14 with no real training.  I left Tottenville to go to Mckee and obtain a  cosmetology license so I would not have to pay for it when I got out.  I was running my salon taking college course night classes. That's why it feels weird for me to go around boasting or tooting my horn.
God's favor is not fair. It's pointless to go around "hating" on folks and trying to block their blessings. You just make yourself miserable. There are things that God gives each one of us, no one can take away, and that comes easy for us, but others have to work hard for it. Each of our favor is different. I really feel God's anointing is upon my life. No other way my story could be possible.
There are levels of blessings. Like you have steps, all of them are steps but you still have different levels. There are levels of anointing, all anointed but not on the same level. There are levels of victory, all victories but not on the same level. There are levels of peace, all peace but not on the same level. Some peace passes all understandings. There are different levels of joy. 

There's contentment, there's happiness etc... In God there are always levels. You can get 1 blessing, while I get another, both are blessings but may not be on the same level. A poor man is happy when he gets a coat, and a rich man is happy when he gets a return on his stock. Both of them cried out to God for a blessings and received based on God's level.  
What I am trying to get you to see, is that we can all be blessed and get blessings, but it will be on different levels. When we accept this fact, we can stop comparing our blessings or thinking it's not enough.
Rita was hard, closed off and had a lot of built up pain she was dealing with inside. She did not understand her own vulnerabilities and always needed to show that she was "okay". She had never been shown love, so she did not know how to accept love from others. She accepted whatever folks felt fit to give her. 


Rita now is LOVE. Compassionate, hard and soft at the same time. She has extreme Faith and love for God. Her Faith is always in the forefront with how she interacts with people. She knows she is worthy of all good things, she understands love and is learning how to give it. She is learning how to be a submissive, strong and successful black women ultimately.
I have learned that it is not so much about your destination. It is about all the things we learn along the way. We are so focused on getting from point A to point B, that often we don't understand the greatest lessons are in the journey and not the destination. It's in the process, walking it out. It's in getting up every day waiting on the "thing" to happen. It is not in the thing that you hope for that is important. 
It's in the lessons you learn while you wait.  Sometimes God doesn't give you what you want, when you want it. He delays the answer so you can learn by the process. If he gave you the promise too quickly, you would miss the opportunity to learn. The true glory is in the things that happens along the way.

As a girl I was SMART!

As a woman I am WISE!

To me it's important to have a strong foundation. Like a house, if the foundation is not strong the house cannot stand. So you can plan all you want, but if you don't position yourself to be around the right people, opportunities won't come and/or you will not be prepared for them. 
I would tell them to seek out a mentor for guidance. Someone who you want to model your success after, not life, but success. You need to surround yourself with folks who intimidate you. You want their business thinking and mentality towards conflict resolution to rub off on you. I don't care how independent of a thinker we feel we are, we are all a product of our environment. 
Successful people hang around other successful people to stay in the know. So, if you are the smartest person in your circle and everyone is drawing off your strength, you are in the wrong circle. That has helped me tremendously. I have always positioned myself to be with folks above me. When I was  supervisor, I would go to lunch with the managers, not my peer supervisors because I wanted to be on the next level.
They would see a woman after her own heart. Folks would be drawn to me more because they would see my heart is pure and full of good intentions. My exterior does not match my interior. 
I have an aura that folks see right away and they either really love me and or really can't deal with me. It is seldom in between. I think if they could see my heart, I would have the whole world in my hands, lol.  I am actually glad they can't see it because I would not be able to handle that many people. :=)
Knowing my purpose and growing closer to God. If someone would have told me I would be professing my faith and love of God publicly the way I do now, I would have said they were lying. 
While my mother and sister were falling out in the Holy Ghost and praying in the streets, I was laughing in church and avoiding being seen with them in public.
But life will change you, for the better or worse. I don't understand how people make it now without some type of faith, for the times in which we live. I feel guilty if I don't praise who keeps feeding me, opening and closing doors for my good. It's foolish to think that I'm so smart, I just always knew what to do, and I'm making it on my own.
There are times I don't even know or remember the steps I took to make it though some things. But I realized that God gives each one of us the grace, to bear our burdens. God gave you your troubles to match with the grace that he put in you to get through it. And he gave me grace to get through mine. 
I could never be you, or go through what you do, and vice versa, because our grace was made just for us by the master architect. My Faith, God's promise and the wisdom to make it out of my troubles, fulfills me greatly. 
Also being able to inspire others through testimony and transparency, not material things feels pretty awesome. The old Rita came off "perfect" and intimidated people. 
I may still intimidate some people, but the folks who are secure, and see the good in other's, see my heart 1st. I'm talkative when comfortable, I always want to help where I can. I want my reputation to precede me... Positively.
SHE IS A BOSS!!!!!!! 


I have embarked on a new journey called Bella Kinks. Bella Kinks is a movement. Conceived for the promotion and awareness of the transcendent beauty of natural hair, transformative impact of an organic diet, and the tranquil benefits of exercise for women of color.  
Bella Kinks operates to motivate women for action and embrace their beauty. Sharing knowledge and resources of such a lifestyle is the cornerstone of how Bella Kinks strengthens its mission. 
Bella Kinks further stretches it's commitment to a wholistic lifestyle through hosting educational seminars quarterly that implements the “each one, teach one” model. As a lifestyle brand, through e-commerce, Bella Kinks presents beauty product lines with companies that follow the tradition of organic and or handmade.
Bella Kinks is a lifestyle choice. As a brand it wants to challenge how you define beauty and accept the true natural beauty that is within you. Bella Kinks knows that once your natural beauty is turned on, a movement will be ignited. 
Let’s Unleash our Glamorous Beauty and Power Together, Naturally.  I can be found on social networking sites all of the time. has links to all my activities.




The trick to keep your blessings is to understand that the same things it took to get you there, are the same things you'll need to maintain once you get there. Many people get blessed, or get in relationships and they stop doing what they did. They become snooty or relaxed. All the things you did to get them needs to intensify. 
It's much harder to maintain, than it is to gain. I wish more people understood that upfront. Also, life has taught me that if I just keep on walking, keep going, that I have not even seen the things that God has in store for me yet. When I was broken hearted, I kept walking. 
There is always something ahead that is greater than what you left behind and when you finally get to it you will say that the sufferings of this present world, are not worthy to be compared to the glory that's up ahead.. In other words, I am glad I went through THAT, SO I CAN GET TO THIS.
Written & expressed by
Bella Kinks
Julian (Rita) Addo


Saye Cooper said...

Great job Rita.I enjoyed reading your #Truth. I am very inspired.
Saye Carrie

Saye Cooper said...

Thanks for sharing your truth Rita. I am inspired.

Vee said...

Wow! Deep stuff. Great job Julian, you are an inspiration :)

Alveda W. Farrow said...

Rita, while you have come a very long way in this life, I appreciate you giving the credit to the one who built your foundation.

You are greatness, I don't know about this boss business but!!

Every journey begins with where you are without focusing on your past. You've redirected your thoughts to who you want to show to the world. The world may not be ready but don't hold back or stunt your cannot prevent what God has predestined!!

DroppingJules said...

Thank you Vee and Saye :)


@ Saye & Vee....Thanks so much for your feedback! :-)