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Sunday, December 23, 2012

DEAR DARKEST NIGHT.....

I don't know too many people who like to be life's punching bag.  I know I don'tI should be sleeping right now but my plans & life's plans are not on the same page.  My goal is to be on the same page of joy & happiness with so my life can be more balanced. 

My blog is truth & filled with major life lessons but it's also a blog for hope as well as healing.  Sometimes my truth is based on how do I make my life better & live a peaceful life.  I was almost tempted to take a picture of how really bad last night was for me but instead I decided to picture what my future could be.
I decided to look deep inside of me & find any little bit of light that is left within me so I can shine it on my darkest night.  I thought about what I truly deserve & how I will figure out a way to obtain it.  Life can seem easy on the outside but inside life can truly be heavy.  Some moments in your life will just hit you like a ton of bricks.  

No matter how you try to PEACE your life together or PEACE your pain into pieces of love, the life lessons will choke you into a harsh reality.  Those heavy moments can just break you down to your core.  In those moments & dark times you sit around wondering why me?  No matter how hard you try in life, balance always seems to slip your grip.

Maybe life thinks I'm still young enough to take brutal beat downs of anger mixed with fits of rage, but I'm not.  Drama always seem to get old real quick & last night's drama is already stale.  Right now it hasn't even been 24 hours & my darkest night is ancient in my mind. 

There's nothing to say, just much to do as far as going forward in life.  Never forget your darkest times & never look back.  I'm stronger & I'm so much wiser.  Life is not supposed to hurt.  Life is supposed to feel good all of the time.  I want to get there & truly embrace the joy I create as well as deserve.  I have earned my right to peace & joy it for sure!
I want to get to a point where my joy cannot be stolen, broken or destroyed.  I'm seeking that unbreakable joy, that truly is my quest.  Something tells me I'm going to achieve my goals.  I can't give up or look back now.  Life from this point forward is all about moving forward. 

Sometimes you have to find the strength to curse the darkness by finding your spark to light the way.  I don't know where I'm going to, but I'm going anyway.  I'm stepping into the unknown & I'm doing it fearlessly with my eyes wide open.  
My journey has always been about my struggle to empower myself within every aspect of my life.  I don't want to be average or stuck.  I don't want to feel trapped or limited.  I don't want my circle filled with people that build me up so they can break me down.  A major part of my journey is freedom.  

There is no better feeling than having the freedom to be me, my way.  No matter what, I'm encouraged that I will get there.  No matter what you go through or experience in life that makes you feel as if you are at the end of your rope, you always have the option to untie the rope & free yourself.
All is not lost & life is not hopeless.  I believe that with all of my heart!!!! 
*TRUTH*

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