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Wednesday, October 24, 2012

THE GREAT PRETENDERS

One of my favorite movie quotes of all time is from "THE COLOR PURPLE".  I love the character Ms. Shug Avery.  I loved her singing & her dancing.  Tears poured down my face when she burst into the church doors, looked her father in the eyes then said, "See Daddy, sinners have souls too."  Shug didn't pretend, instead she embraced her truth.
 *TRUTH*
Far too often in life people are caught up pretending to be what they feel they need to be, in order to survive in life.  We always say "just be yourself, keep it real or just be you", but OUR sad truth is that, it is not so easy.  It is hard to just be yourself when you don't even know who the real you is at a certain point in your life.  Some things in life can make you lose yourself for a long time. 

People get life twisted in thinking that they are what they did or didn't do in life.  That is just your experiences, that is not who you truly are.  How you allow it to effect you will determine where you are in life & what you will need to move forward.  
If your experience is not something you are proud of, then change your present for a better future.  Never allow people, experiences, situations or anything in your life to disconnect you from your greatness.  That can only happen when you stay stuck in your lessons.  Your past, pain & hurt is your truth but so is your greatness.  

Your past becomes the smallest piece to your life puzzle the moment you free your soul from it.  Souls need to be set free!  You will get a strong feeling inside that will let you know that you must free yourself of something that does not feel right. *TRUTH*

When you don't like your experiences or your choices it is so very easy to pretend or ignore your truth.  Sometimes it seems like the best option, because life can seem so much easier to deal with when you are living in denial.  Everybody at some point has detached themselves from their emotions.  Sometimes it's too much to cope with!
THE GREAT PRETENDER is what I call people who are deep in their life lessons but have their head in the clouds.  They do not want to become fully aware of their issues.  I've been there so that's how I know or can recognize it in others.  I always see myself in others.

Sometimes I see the old me & at times I see the new me. I just try to learn & grow from it but at this stage in my life I reject anything that pulls me down.  
We can ignore our truth in order to avoid it, but our truth doesn't leave us until we use it to free ourselves.  

People struggle to cope because the process of healing their hurt is far too painful to deal with.  I truly understand but it is also your personal prison.  People pretend like they are over things that has happened in their lives.  They act as if they have moved passed whatever "IT" is or as if "IT" never happened.  
I see people doing that all the time & I understand why.  People who are deep in denial either seem to shine a bright light on all of the other great things about themselves but leave out what they are not proud of or are so ashamed that they downplay every single thing about themselves all of the time. 

There are so many aspects to who we are as human beings, that we have to figure out the best ways to manage ourselves & our lives.  We are not one way all of the time, nor should we be.  We will not do, say, feel, think or experience things exactly the same way all of the time.  We are suppose to change & we should start with our minds.
Sometimes we will be judgmental & sometimes we will be compassionate.  When we embrace our own truth we become so much better towards others. I was raised in the church so I will use this example.  The church lady just might watch porn once in a while.  

Hey it happens!  Usually when who a person used to be reappears in their "NEW" image & life.  My question is, should she beat herself up & live in guilt for the rest of her life or should she examine her life to see why she would judge others for the same thing she does in the dark?  


I watch people lose it over things that can easily be resolved.  They don't understand that the experience good, bad, traumatic, painful, life changing, etc... was just a lesson they needed to learn.  It may not be one that you wanted but it was handed to you or you chose that situation for a reason.  

What you did or what you experienced is not who you are, unless you choose to believe that.  If you look in your heart & soul then still believe you are everything that you don't like or love about yourself then you just don't get life. 
You have to set your life up in a way that will give you breathing room to grow out of who you were.  Who you use to be & even who you are right now may not be your true self.  If it has nothing to do with your greatness or empowering yourself then that is not you.  That is a part of you that can be changed the minute you decide to stop living outside of your true self. 

Sometimes you have to believe in yourself enough to know that you can be safe in your truth.  Let go of what you've been through in order to live your life through love.  You must know you deserve to be loved & respected by YOU first, then others. 
You must send love an invitation into your life.  You must forgive yourself.  You must trust yourself.  You must nurture yourself.  You must pick up the pieces to your life puzzle & heal from it.  Your life is about becoming a better person & your goal must be to become whole again.  

When you begin to trust that everything will work out in your favor, you won't have to pretend.  When you know that everything will work out in your favor, you will allow your truth to set you free.   That's personal growth!  That's empowerment!  That's loving yourself enough to become the greatness you were born to be.  THAT'S TRUTH!

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