Damn!!! Damn!!!! Damn!!!! Damn!!!!
I have a free flowing spirit but those experiences can leave people guarded & very protective of their hearts. When you put your heart on the line in the name of love, you are expecting your relationship to blossom & grow. There should be some kind of wonderful vibe with positive growth as the end result.
Unfortunately, the raw truth is how you start every relationship is usually how you will end it. Unless you are honest with your partner & yourself, sex & love won't cut it. You need truth!
If you start with lies & deception don't act surprised when things begin to take a toll on your relationship. People start with love & sex, but never enough truth to give them the balance the need.
If going through your partner's cell phones, texts, emails, friend's list on facebook & snooping as you play "I Spy" works for you then good luck with that lesson. People always find what they are looking for, but they can never really handle the truth. It becomes a vicious cycle of being stuck inside of your fears. It is better to take pics of your own truth, look at your own growth & lessons in life!
Your truth! Your life! Your worth!
People struggle because they enter their relationships & marriages with their half truths & convince. They will themselves that they are not so bad because they are "work in progress". They need a PPM! A professional progress monitor to track all of their *BS* & "so called" work in progress. Pay attention to how slick people can be when it comes to avoiding ways to work on themselves.
People who don't take the time to heal their hurt will hurt others. If a person cannot escape who they are, then how can their partner escape the hurt & pain that person will eventually cause in the relationship? Sooner or later they will bring their pain & the truth will reveal itself over time.
When there is little change & growth within yourself, your relationship or marriage, then that means you need to do more work so you can make some real progress. That can't happen when people ignore their reality (denial) or choose to become lazy at working hard on themselves. I've watch couples outgrow each other because one person did all of the work, so they moved on.
"I'm a work in progress" is only an excuse if you don't work at changing your ways for good. You need to make progress each day, especially if your growth usually comes from putting your partners through a whole lot of pain. Some people are too far gone. They are too damaged to jump into relationships or get married, but they do it anyway. When you can honestly talk about & openly share your pain, then you are ready for healing.
On the very first date some people really need to wear a very bright neon shirt that says I am & I will be "UNDER CONSTRUCTION" for a very long time. If they have to seek out love, they need to know that they need someone who is willing to put in the work with them, because they are worth it. That comes with being honest with your partner. That's entering your relationship with *TRUTH*.
Most people are not prepared to deal with damaged souls who can't even admit to themselves that they are in pain. All that stuff comes out in so many ways & it will eventually ruin your relationship. Every single person has been through some hurt & pain, but when you can't seem to make peace with your pain, at least enough to not hurt people you love, then you are still "UNDER CONSTRUCTION " .
Never put that kind of burden, stress & pressure onto others because it is truly unfair? People should be strong enough to uplift themselves so they can inspire their partner & others to do the same. Unfortunately, some people don't want to try or expect others to carry their load in the relationship. There is always going to be major issues in relationships when people don't pull their own weight.
When people lean on others so much that everybody is sinking like the "Titanic" & there is no life jacket to save yourselves, then the relationship will drown. It is not right to expect people who love you to hold you up & sustain you for life, that's selfish. That is not love. Love & truth will set you free not bound, gag & suffocate you.
People need to work harder at healing so they can learn how to free their souls. Your life is about you first. How do you rise above all of your hurt, pain, fears & jump over life's hurdles, when you can't even pick yourself up off the ground? You have to see your worth each day so you can lift yourself up.
When you are truly work in progress then you can deal in truth. Everything you want your partner to be to you, is exactly what you need to offer to yourself first. Offer yourself real love, real compassion, real healing & truth. You must own & accept your truth first before choosing to share yourself with another person, their children, their family & their friends. Free yourself!
It takes a bold soul with real personal growth to know that they've been broken so wide open that they are still hurting & damaged. They will need someone in their life to be kind, compassionate & patient with them, as they continue to work on healing.
The goal is to heal & become whole again. What you see on the surface is the mask some people wear while they are UNDER CONSTRUCTION". Your attitude in life should be if you can't love me as I am then you are free to leave me alone! Speak your truth!!
A BOLD SOUL IS A FREE SOUL!