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Friday, September 21, 2012

PEELING OFF YOUR LABELS

Sticks & stones are not the only thing doing damage to people.  Placing labels by calling people hurtful names does the same damage.  In society, males are usually labeled as cheaters & of course females are labeled as whores.  I don't care how much people say it doesn't bother them, I know labels tend to stick  & hurt people.  In order to become unstuck you need to peel it off  & never allow yourself to be labeled.


Peeling off labels is the same as changing your life.  When calling a spade a spade, yes some labels absolutely do apply BUT they do not have to stick.  If you cheat on every person you're in a relationship with then you deserve the cheater stamp right on your forehead!  If you sleep with everybody that tells you that you have a nice body then you deserve the tramp stamp! *TRUTH*
The great thing about life is that people do have the power to peel labels off & clean up their lives.  You must have the strong desire & heart it will take to work on yourself from the inside out.  That is why we have the option to make a change when we decide that we are unhappy living a certain lifestyle.  When we desire more out of life, we will develop a strong  need to be fulfilled.  The goal should be for every piece of our life puzzle to be put back into place.  In other words our goal is to become whole again & not stay broken!

I am truly amazed by the things we fall for, especially women.  You can't reject labels if you choose to accept it by behaving a certain way.  It really doesn't matter whether or not it is being done intentionally or unintentionally, what matters is if the labels are true or false.  One label in particular is the one that many love to use on women. "HOE & HOUSEWIFE".  
We should be offended like, who you calling a hoe??  We really should respond like Queen Latifah did in U.N.I.T.Y., "Who you calling a B**CH?????", but it is kind of hard to do that if we behave & act like hoes.  People usually call it as they see it but instead of reacting we need to examine what they see in us that we do not see in ourselves.  We know when we are being "loose" & we know when we are behaving like ladies so we are wise enough to know better.

Okay, so lets break this down using the Wikipedia & "urban" dictionary definition. (gotta love the term *urban*.... that's a whole other topic! smh)  When you are aware that this is the stamp society & the world at large has placed on women you have choices to make.  

A HOE by definition is "short for whore - the skank everybody knows in town especially at school, work, social settings, etc..."


A HOUSEWIFE by definition is "is a married woman whose occupation is running or operating the family's home - caring for and educating her children, cooking, etc...."
  
I'm not going to use the "reality television" meaning because the truth is that I am still trying to wrap my mind around their definition.
  
The crazy thing about being labeled a hoe/whore & being called out of your name is that if you choose to buy into that label but never question the source then you will never reach the point of healing your heart, mind, body & soul.  It really goes both ways & it does take two people to participate so I guess everyone is a hoe at some point in their lives!  

I watch men brag about "hoes", sleep around with "hoes", have orgies with "hoes" but for some odd reason they consider themselves to be some top notch real gentlemen that would become great husbands to that perfect "housewife".  
Does that make sense to you at all?  Aren't men hoes too?  Some dudes slut their lives away at an early age all the way into old age, then they carry it over into relationships & marriages but their labels are "MEN" & "HUSBANDS".  Meanwhile it seems as  if the only thing "housewives" do is fight the battle of keeping her husband & his "willy" in his pants.
  
What is being portrayed & exposed within society is that it is more than acceptable for males to sleep around with many women, while they leave the hoes & housewives thirsty!  The hoes keep coming back because they are thirsty for love through negative attention seeking behaviors.  Housewives stay stuck because they are thirsty for their husbands to be faithful & fully present within their marriage & family life.  I think that is having some very high expectations from males who are LITERALLY experts at confirming that females can really be hoes.  
At the end of the day people are who they are until they are truly ready for change, so why do women even buy into these labels?  I notice that there is a huge disconnect when a woman has no idea that she can become what ever she desires.  The same goes for men.  This means if a woman has put herself or allowed others to put her into situations where she is labeled a hoe or whore, she has the power to remove that label.  Men can do the same.  Peeling labels off means you are ready for growth.
My advice would be to never buy into, believe & worse accept labels.  Just learn your lessons & check your behavior so you can figure out how or why you are being labeled.  Go the source which is you & your behavior then go to the root which is your pain.  Unless being a hoe is your true calling & purpose in life you should desire to peel it off.  It takes a certain kind of disconnect & numbness to your pain to allow many males to just run through you.
You have to fight for who you truly are within & I do not believe that hoes are created at birth.  There is no value in being the female that males love to have sex with.  You have to go to the root, instead of being stuck in what others think or how they feel about you.  That's why they call it "A COME BACK".  Take the time to do some soul searching so you can come back to your true self!  

Whenever we lose ourselves, it is usually because of what we were exposed to or some trauma that we haven't dealt with from an early age.   I find it hard to believe that women love behaving like "hoes" & acting like a "whores".  I believe there is a disconnect that occurs because of mental illness, abandonment, neglect, sexual, emotional & physical abuse, violence, poverty, etc.....
Nobody that has a "perfect childhood" would feel comfortable sleeping around with a bunch of men, women & God knows what else.  At least NOBODY that I know, but I do believe that there is a lesson in it.  I watch women relocate to different states & towns to start a new life because everybody from their old life considered them "hoes" & they were wore their labels.  Here's some truth, if you are comfortable enough to disrespect yourself in your hometown then chances are, you will backslide & sleep around in your new town.  
Finding a new man who does not know anything about your past does not change who you are.  You making a change to respect yourself & show the world your true value by putting your worth on display is what will change who you are.  How you act & behavior is not always the core of your true self.  You need to dig to the root so you don't travel the same path in life.  Life lessons can be tough so you do not want to keep repeating them, especially if you're labeled a "hoe".  
Go inside of your pain & nurture your hurt so you can be healed.  There are many ways to start the process of healing yourself.  Some people seek God, some people do stress relief with relaxation & meditation techniques, some people go to therapy on a regular basis.  Venting about your problems to your family & friends is basically placing a band-aid over your wounds.  I does not solve your problems unless the people you vent to are board certified mental health practitioners so seek real help for your labels.
When you are living from within that is where you find your truth, because your goal will be to uplift your spirit & feed your soul each day.

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