Friday, September 7, 2012


"Hurt people hurt people. We are not being judgmental by separating ourselves from such people.  But we should do so with compassion." 
~Will Bowen
Insecurity is another soul cutting, spirit killing & heart piercing mindset that will damage everything you love. We are only human, so yes we will all have our moments of feeling self conscious or a little insecure. There is a serious problem when the behavior is ongoing & can begin to remove all of the joy out of creating, loving & living a secure & happy life.

A brave heart shared some truth about feelings that come with being insecure .
"The most f**ked up thing about insecurity is that you start to believe the things that you're insecure about, whether or not they are true or false.  Even though it may not be true, you believe it.  You start to think other people see you & they see the things that you feel insecure about.  The real problem is the people who do see it & exploit it.  It is a struggle & it is hard, especially when you realize that you are insecure.  Nobody starts out being insecure.  It's the things that you have experienced that leads you to doubt yourself.  It leaves a fear of being taken advantage of."~ANONYMOUS

So many of us struggle with these feelings but the reality is that we are never alone in dealing with insecurity.   The truth is that nobody has to figure out or find solutions to every struggle on their own.  You can if you choose to but then you risk really feeling lonely, which can lead to severe depression or more unhealthy & toxic behavior patterns. 

I've often heard that when a person has a lot of negative habits & behaviors that it stems from insecurity.  I would never make light of just how painfully dangerous & damaging dealing with insecurity can because it can make people step outside of themselves in such a negative way.  My thoughts on this is that insecurity has a direct link to verbal abuse, emotional abuse & domestic violence. *TRUTH*

Some women have deep rooted insecurities that has them going through their man's cell phones & trying to compete with his ex or the mother of his children.  We really lose our minds to the point where we lose ourselves completely.  When you hold onto a person so tightly, what you do is enslave their love, then you stranglehold their joy & soil their spirit, as you put plenty of hurting on their heart.  The sad truth is you're really enslaving yourself inside of a mental prison cell.  Your mind can easily be lost inside all of the things that make your feel insecure.

At some point we have to get a solid grip on reality.  We cannot live in fear of betrayal, rejection, being mistreated or taken advantage of.  We do have control over our choices, decisions & behavior. The real issue is that we do not trust ourselves enough to walk away or let go when we no longer trust & we've been hurt by people we care about. 

It goes both ways because insecure men do the same crazy things & that is not real love.  That possessive behavior where a man has to know every little detail of his woman's life is not okay.  A man being jealous is not cute & doesn't mean he really loves you.  It's toxic!  Love feels lighthearted & warms the heart.  Love makes you smile just because.  Love is peace of mind that will free your soul!  

Insecurity carries such a heavy energy & it can really damage a person's life as well as their relationships.  People's insecurities can be on front street in so many ways.  It doesn't matter if it is on your job, with your children, friends & family, you will push love away & destroy your relationships no matter how well you think you're hiding your insecurities.

There is nothing wrong with seeking professional help & getting a healthy support system.  You have to start with being honest with yourself or whoever is being insecure towards you.  It isn't easy but truthful communication is key & it is the first step towards healing.  Place the focus on yourself & look at your behavior or how you react when you are dealing with insecurity. 

INSECURE WOMEN: "Insecure women are created by insecure "seeming powerful yet powerless", manipulative, cowardly men.  They use this mechanism as a form of control.  As an extremely involved, nurturing father of a daughter I continuously lift my daughter up in the highest praise as I build a solid self awareness of who she is, laying an unbreakable foundation that NO MAN who claims he LOVES her can destroy.  I was on line to purchase some items & this young lady placed a display ribbon in her hair.  I glanced at her & chuckled.  Her mother said, "when a man looks at you like that you know that is not appropriate & you shouldn't wear it."  I immediately justified my glance by alerting the young lady that my glance & my chuckle was because it reminded me of something my daughter would do, meaning pick up a ribbon & place it in her hair.  There are some mother's passing their twisted learned insecurities to there daughters which in turn we as men we have to do our best "Dr. Phil" to discover & rebuild them." ~Terrence Garrett

It will take a deep look within to discover your value & true worth.  Sometimes you have to go into that empty place within yourself so you can do the work it is going to take on healing all of your hurt.  Sometimes you have to give yourself the toughest love by either letting go of others or simply focusing on yourself. 

It is not okay when you're being insecure or accepting other people's insecure behavior towards you.  It will drain all of the energy from everyone's mind, body & soul.  It is being trapped & constantly stuck in fear.  That is not living or loving a good life!

Having control over someone or trying to control someone is a twisted way of thinking.  If you are insecure then you are having issues with low self worth.  When you lose your grip on your true worth, the last thing you should be seeking is relationships.  The first thing you should be seeking is your self esteem, true value & worth!!!
No insecurity can take a love that you create & build for yourself.  Love lives in your soul.  Self love is the only love that will allow you the freedom to empower yourself & learn how valuable & worthy you are.

No comments: