Thursday, September 27, 2012



  • Bindu Had to share......She's gorgeous & she knows it! *LOVE IT*
  • Julian Rita Addo My mom is half German and half Liberian. I have German blood but that does not make me mixed. Correct me if I am wrong, but I do not think those who have mixed cultures/races/blood is unique at all, well they are but I don't feel that is what makes them unique...we are all mixed in some way, somewhere down the line. It is just that society places more value on lighter skin vs. darker skin... period. I cannot believe there is a whole page of almost 50k people to celebrate this "uniqueness". That is funny to me...
  • Julian Rita Addo She's beautiful nonetheless, but I find it disturbing that she says she is mixed and she is excited about it, jmo....
  • Cynthia Quinn Reynolds This is such a interesting concept to me as well because it seems that our black or American American identification is sultely being discarded for a more acceptable moniker... Becsuse of our hIstory In thIs country I do understand why, but I agree with Ms. Addo. Most, if not all of us have a genetic mixture... I choose to stay black :-)
  • Bindu @ Rita......Welcome to the MIXED LIFE & MIXED MINDSET!! We will touch on some raw truth today! :-)

    The truth is we all think differently & that does not shock nor disturb me at all. Some people who are Irish & Italian consider themselves to be mixed. Now you could be absolutely right but there are almost 50,000 people on the Mixed Chicks page & millions on an international level that just might disagree with you. Also I feel they are doing exactly what African Americans & most black people do & that is say all day long that they are BLACK & PROUD. I personally don't think it needs to be put on display & said all day everyday but I bet there are millions of black people who would disagree based on slavery, our history & culture. 

    Most people in the United States refer to "MIXED" as black & white or bi-racial. We all know the "One Drop" of black blood rule comes into play whenever we discuss being mixed which always makes this topic a heated one. I agree that yes, we are all mixed in some way. Now we can have a unique look & style that can allow us to stand out from the crowd in some way but what truly makes us unique & special is what's within. That's just my perspective & everyone is entitled to their own. We should all know & understand that. Her culture is not like the Liberian, West African culture. I don't consider myself mixed but many people do. It depends on the mindset & the culture. I have a lot of West Indian friends, Jamaican friends, Indian & of course African friends, etc.......We talk about race, color & culture. The good hair, light bright & close to white thing is very real in every culture but some more than others. It's wrong but people do raise their kids to place their value & sense of worth in being mixed, light skinned with "good" hair. That is a very real mindset but I didn't apply it to this girl because when I looked at her I saw Cuban/Spanish where as somebody else would have seen Jamaican or African American. I don't know how she was raised, what she was exposed to or what she was taught in her home but I can take a guess that it played a part in how she expressed herself as a young woman. Either way I'm not disturbed because that's HER truth & she's beautiful regardless.

    Everybody is not thinking the way other cultures may think. Also from my experience as a black woman dealing with "SOME", not all but a whole lot of black people there is always an issue with this topic because of the LIGHT SKINNED & DARK SKINNED elephant that never leaves the room. The sad truth is no matter how much black people shout it from the mountain tops, every black person is not proud to be black or have dark skin & kinky hair. Some people have to grow into loving their blackness with a pure sense of pride & some people have to be shamed into loving their blackness because they don't have self love. The other sad truth is that some people who have light skin, curly or straight hair really believe that they are better than people with dark skin & that's not just in the U.S., that's worldwide. That is the truth & it comes out in very different ways. When you get into a person's history, culture & what is taught within the household among family then you will get a clear picture of each person's individual mindset. I'm not at all disturbed at what she said & kind of understand why she didn't see anything wrong in speaking this way. Color struck & identifying with anything but being black, dark skin & African is very real. Most people don't want to say that but I will because it's the truth. 

    I listen & pay attention to everything people say but most important I see & watch what people do. All of this has everything to do with self love. I love myself enough to know that it's not up to me to define or decide what makes others unique, proud or mixed. I have my perspective & am quite comfortable with it. They have theirs & I am quite comfortable with how they choose to celebrate & embrace it. That's why I said on my blog that this topic can is likely to go downhill because it can be discussed on so many levels. Thank you for spicing it up!!! XOXOXOXO :-)
  • Bindu @ Cynthia.......I understand exactly what you are saying which is why I just wrote a whole book in response to Ms. Addo.... :-) Your perspective is an African American woman from the United States so it makes perfect sense. What the rest of America does not consider is the international culture regarding color lines & what people identify with & why. Everything goes back to DARK SKIN vs LIGHT SKIN but I like to take it a step further by saying that the mixed thing only really takes an emotional toll or brings up mixed feelings when people are not truly comfortable within their own skin. People could be upset with me for not saying that part of my people are from Lebanon but if I was not raised by my Lebanese side of my family then I will identify with the culture that I was raised & influenced by which is the Liberian, West African side. If I walked around saying I am Lebanese & African instead of just saying I am African or I am a black woman I guarantee the black & African community would raise hell. I'm just calling it like I see it. Thanks for the feedback......I'm loving the discussion! XOXOXOXO
  • Julian Rita Addo Coming back! LOL!!! Bear with me...
    22 hours ago · Unlike · 1
  • Bindu @ Rita......Ha!!! I knew I could count on you to bring it home......I'm bracing myself! (lol) *Thank you for sharing your thoughts & your truth* :-)
  • Cynthia Quinn Reynolds Whew that was alot cuz... :-) as you stated earlier this is such a hot topic, but discussion about it is always good to me, especially if we can agree to disagree. I LOVE hearing the honest different concepts about race, because it helps me learn how people are really thinking. My thoughts have evolved so much over the years and I am sure they will continue to change... My perspective is from a " Negro, Colored,Afro-American and now African American" middle aged woman in America. I mentioned all of those names because those are a few of the names that the descendants of Africans who were inslaved have been called over the years. I am in support of everyone identifying with whatever they want to be called because it has no impact on my life and who am I to say who or what you are. After much thought about this today I asked myself "why is there a tinge of smh when people use the mixed label" I'm being honest about letting people identify with want they want, but I also smh if that makes any sense :-) Because of the history in my culture(African American) it feels like a move backwards... People of color identified themselves as octoroons,quadroons, mulattoes etc. During and post slavery. These classifications were different from the "one drop rule" which as we know classified the person as black. Back in the day these people were also self identified as black ( unless they were passing) lol that's another story. Today people who are mixed seem to 
    embrace the mixed label, but I have seen/ heard very few who also state that they are black. Unlike you in your blog :-) When people who have been historically identified as black and they drop their blackness and embrace their mixedness (making up words now) it feels like a loss and a disregard to everything they they say they love. I share your thought: can't you be mixed and black??? I embrace my blackness like my womanhood, my motherhood, my professionalism, my Christanity and the other things that make me who I am. I find that when I want to embrace and include my blackness, I get " Oh that shouldn't matter etc. Etc. Etc." As if it's something too be ashamed of. It seems as if African American history and culture is slowly disappearing under the guise of " we're all just one big happy generic, mixed :-) family" My dad's grandfather was classified as a "mulatto" on the U.S. Census, and since we are related you know that our family members are represented on all hues of skin tones, so like you I was never really exposed to the light skin dark skin thing or one being better than the other. It's sad that this is still an issue, but this just means that we're human like other races and cultures who have their own irrational, hurtful preferences ie. Blond and blue, tow heads etc. It still amazes me that people 
    believe that only people of color do this. Well that's it for me, and I don't know how you do this everyday, but I love and respect you for it.
    Much love xoxox
    17 hours ago via mobile · Edited · Unlike · 1
  • Julian Rita Addo Lawd Geezus....where do I start?

    I agree she has many different cultures in her that makes up her ethnicity, but she IS NOT you stated, the most common referral is black
     and white parents (YOUR IMMEDIATE PARENTS, NOT YOUR PARENTS PARENTS OR SO FORTH). Sorry but her truth or not...SHE IS NOT MIXED. I AM NOT MIXED. My mother is mixed and I inherited some of her German blood. My Father is Ghanian, my mother is black and white. I am Ghanian/Liberian with German blood that MAY very well be reflected in my seeds, or further down the line...that WILL NOT make THEM mixed (unless their father is white hehehehe), but they will have the blood line of many different cultures. I understand that is my opinion and everyone has theirs, but I am opinionated so I will stack it "high against the wall" LOL!!! What disturbs me is her enthusiasm to find out claim she is "mixed" if that makes her better off than she was before. It may very well be that I read too much into it...but hey, that's what I got :)

    Secondly, I am GLAD your brought your sis by same ma and pa in the mix. I was going to address today when I first read your feedback. The DIVIDE is not so much with being mixed in this WORLD, as it is with color, the lighter the better, whether you are "mixed" or not. I bet know one asks your sister what she is mixed with? Even though she IS mixed...she will not have the "biracial issues" you have/had with other women...or the admiration from men that prefer "mixed chicks". Plenty lighter toned women feel superior to darker toned women...plenty darker toned women are insecure about their darkness...and plenty men prefer lighter toned women with curly hair. I experience that ALL DAY when I post a pics on my Bella Kinks FB page. The darker toned woman damn near has to have either white features (straighter nose) to get equal likes as a curly spiral head light chick. Or she has to have extremely exotic features where she stands out...This is just the way it is...It bothers women that are not secure with themselves. It does not bother me one bit. I thank God for growing up with a "mixed" looking sister because I really think it helped me in this department. I think If I didn't have the sister I have, I probably would have had this same complex, other darker toned women have. I am brown skin, short and have some thickness to me, I realize that as a woman, I may not be every man's cup of tea and I am alright with that. I never feel down about who I am or how God made me because of someone else's skin color...or anything else for that matter. Every is entitled to choose what they want, color or not.

    Growing up for me was hard and I really had to get past my self esteem issues, which I did with the help of my sister's personal struggles. I remember being 5 or 6, folks would see my mom with me and my sister and boldly insinuate I was not my mother's daughter, because I was darker. They would tell my sister how pretty she was...and say nothing to me. Growing up...I was the smart sister was the beautiful one. This could have played on me, but God was by my side. Having an older sister as beautiful as Pauline was/is, and watching her taught me how I needed to carry myself and a thing or 2 about the world. I watch my sister struggle with relationships, beauty and self esteem. I learned early on that no matter how pretty you are, no one is exempt from the trials and tribulations of life and relationship woes. I learned that beauty's what attracts men but "humans" can become quickly bored if there is nothing more than looks that abound. I saw first hand these by her pain. I had a light bulb moment at 15!!! I was never the same. I LOVE being black...and I love that I have many different cultures in me. I cannot wait to see how generation after me will turn out. I think all the colors are beautiful. I just try to be the best looking me!

    I don't feel that proud to be black moniker is the same as the mixed page at all. Just take a look at the wall and the comments and you see the continuous divide... Black is acknowledge in all shades...mixed is only acknowledged if you're light skinned. I bet if your sister went on there and said she was mixed, it would be wide opened for discussion. If you one would question it.
  • Julian Rita Addo Whatver you are, I love you because of you and your heart. You could be purple for all I care!!!If there are any typos or grammatical errors (which I'm sure) sorry!!! I don't even...See More
    17 hours ago · Unlike · 2
  • Bindu @ Rita......don't make me start with my heavy african accent....ur killing me with "Lawd Geezus...." (i hole ya

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