Monday, September 17, 2012

DON'T F**K!!!

I don't normally speak this way but I have said this truth a few times.  I've said it to myself when I was a single mother & felt the stress or pressure mounting.  I've said this as a married woman who struggles with a son who has a disability.  That's my way of reminding myself to stop, think & learn not to complain about my choices in life.  

It sounds a bit harsh but truth does that to us from time to time.  DON'T F**K!!!!!! That was the advice that I gave myself & others which kinda pissed some people off to no end, but hey.....the truth just is!  I'm not a friend to myself or anyone if I lie & pretend to sugarcoat what life is clearly trying to teach us about parenthood.

Who actually thinks being a parent is easy? Let me know who that person is!!  Parenthood is hard work!  Parenthood is your time!  Parenthood is your money!  Parenthood is you being selfless.  Any person that takes parenthood seriously can fully understand that you will have to give up things, sacrifice things & share yourself in a way that will transform your life so you can teach, love & grow.  A lot of us could have saved ourselves a whole lot of headaches, money, time, energy & peace of mind if we took this advice when we were younger & not so wise or if we waited for the right partner to parent our children with.  There are a lot of "single parents" who are still married with two able bodies in the household.  That means one parent is doing all or most of the grunt work!  
The parents that are doing a great job are the parents that make a decision to acknowledge that they brought a child into this world intentionally or unintentionally, so they have to do the work it takes to raise them well.  If you are lazy, broke, immature, selfish, unprepared & just not ready or capable of being a parent then DON'T F**K!!!!!  *TRUTH* 

I give that advice to people all the time because there are major consequences to being intimate with a person if you don't protect yourself.  We all know this truth!!!!  I especially give that advice to parents who complain about parenthood.  Some act as if they simply filled out the wrong application for a job they thought they could do & be paid well for.  They want an advance in their salary before they complete their job.  The reward is seeing your kids learn their life lessons without doing too much damage in the process.  That will only happen if parents put in the work to get the job done!  My attitude is get over it & get to work because it is the toughest job anybody will every have in their lifetime.  

First of all you cannot begin to guess the kind of soul that will enter your life & challenge you while they expect you to raise them into well rounded adults.  When you are responsible for birthing, bringing & adopting soul beings into the world, it is not going to be no cakewalk!  Do you really think that they will be little cute "Ken & Barbie" dolls that you can dress up to put on display to make you look good?  WRONG!!! 
You better stay on your job as a parent!  Kids are the first ones to put their parents business on front street & show the world how well we parent or if we are lacking with our parenting skills.  If you do not stay on your kids 24/7 to do right, be right, live right & love right they will find a way shame you!! 
They don't listen to what you say, they pay attention to what you do.  You are their role model!!  Also kids are the truth & will be very truthful at the wrong time for parents who are not the best examples to their children.

I say this all the time....."close your legs", "put you *peter* back in your pants" & "don't f**k if you are too lazy to put on a condom or pop a pill in your mouth that's the size of a tic tac".  If you have religious beliefs regarding sex then you should be alright because abstinence should be your buddy!  

I say this because I've heard a million complaints & double the amount of excuses when it comes the responsibility that comes with being a parent. 
Accept responsibility for getting pregnant, not *pulling out* (yep I said it), or simply not using protection during intercourse.  You know what can happen if you have sex & choose to not practice safe sex!  My favorite excuse is "we got caught up in the heat of the moment".....ummmm okay, so shut up, keep a job & buy those pampers, wipes, food, clothes, toys & school supplies with a smile!  
Pay those bills to keep a roof over their heads, lights on for them to get homework done, gas in the car to drive them to school, dental, medical & other appointments.  Oh & don't forget sports or fun activities because you have to keep them busy.  Do it all with the same smile you had on when you where practicing how to have kids!  You pumped & pushed for them, now deal!  *TRUTH*  

WOMEN..... if the dude is too lazy to buy, can't afford or just doesn't bring a condom & you are comfortable with that, then you're an idiot!  If you are too foolish to shut that down, "JUST SAY NO", go buy one for him or buy yourself a box of female condoms, then feel free to risk corroding your kitty!  What's worse is the old chick walking into "the clinic" by herself, not a good look.  You mean to tell me you're still learning old lessons?  You know you're too old not to be using protection.  You should be schooling young girls on protecting themselves.

We have to stop blaming men when we participate in bringing a child into this world.  He showed you that he was irresponsible from the start so do you really expect him to be responsible with your children?

MEN..... just "WRAP IT UP" already!!!!  If the chick is too lazy to fill out her prescription, take her pill each day, get a patch or shot, by herself a box of female condoms, buy you condoms & protect herself then you get what you *CAME* for!  I hope it doesn't burn!

Couples & parents who love each other so much because they are so sure nobody is "stepping out" on each other so they don't need to protect themselves should not complain when they either catch an STD or get knocked up!  You are living off hopes, dreams & wishes that the trust you offer to your long time partner, lover, husband & wife will sustain you.  

Relationships are not easy & neither is parenting.  Couples who trust openly are vulnerable because human beings change & you never know if it will be for better or for worse.  You may get some clues, but  if you are not fully present each & every single day within your relationship, then you will have issues.  I hope trust does sustain couples, but just in case, please be wise with having kids & protecting your health no matter how strong the love is.  

Stay on top of your health & do not be careless to a new born life.   If you know you can't afford to take care of kids financially or emotionally then DON'T F**K!!!!!  Why do people act shocked when the woman they had kids with is lazy or selfish because she will put herself first before her kids?  Why do women get mad when their man behaves like a child & expect her to take care of the kids & him?  You saw that coming before the kids got here so deal with it!  

Everything you need to learn & know about just how careless or responsible a person can be is right there in that moment when you hear that wrapper rip open or not!  That says I care enough to not bring kids into this world that I am not ready to love & be responsible for.  It also says, I care about my health & yours or I'm not mature enough for parenthood.  *TRUTH*

Some people think they are capable but they prove over & over that they were not ready to be parents.  It takes tremendous work.  Prepare, plan & be ready! If you're not going to give them all of the knowledge, discipline, support, encouragement, stability & love you can offer, then DON'T F**K!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *TRUTH*

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