Pages

Sunday, September 30, 2012

GREATNESS IN YOU-GBANJAH CARTER

WHERE GREAT SOULS DWELL...... 
I've really thought about myself as great but I'm very proud of my commitment to charity and my ability to "Go"...Wherever, whenever. 
My visit to Liberia in 2009 brought about a whole different change in the way I see children and how much I took for granted. 
As a father and a human being.  And I think being a father made some things apparent that I never took notice of before.  Kinda like a new compassion....or interest. 
And my ability to pick a place and just go is something I'm very proud of myself for because too many people stay put. I think as human beings we're naturally creatures of habit and therefore we generally stay put. I like to go. Anywhere my heart desires, when it so desires.
Biggest Challenges would be staying focused and committed in the music business and trying to find way to educate the Liberian children.
I think I've ALWAYS been who I am now. Although a lot of maturity and tons of experiences have made me wiser and more apprehensive in some cases. I've always been an artist. 
Always focused on creativity and the beauty and joy of the creative arts. My growth in life mainly came with fatherhood. 
I see a capacity for love and tolerance that I never thought possible.
Personal achievement number one would be remaining self reliant as an indie artist. Writing , arranging and producing my own albums as well as cross genre artist in Hip hop and R&B.
And Secondly,I would have to say making a difference in the lives of the kids I teach in Liberia. Just to engage a child that otherwise would never get that attention or interaction and see the reaction when they actually grasp what you were trying to convey.

One truth about friendship is like many relationships it evolves and you have to evolve with it or lose it.

One truth about relationships is one person is always more vested than the other in some way, shape or form.

One truth about success is that not only does it reveal who YOU are but it also reveals the truth about the people around you.

One truth about women and love.... Women are not as understanding as I would like them to be and DO NOT want the truth. Love is easy. Its relationships that are hard. I think people are more unrealistic and even more less honest about their true feelings,wants, and expectations from the word "Go".
I often say, I may never be a good husband or boyfriend, but I'll be damned if I mess up as a father.There are no do overs. I have to be the best I can be the first time . Its an amazing gig that pays me way more than I deserve!
I think my purpose in life right now is to use my gift to bring attention to the Children of Liberia and their plight.
 To teach my kids to always be better and unstoppable.  To instill confidence in people I encounter because too many people lack the confidence they need to be who they really are...And to be happy... regardless of what I have or don't have.
                                                         
Who I am is an artist and a father..And in that order. That is what my soul is...
I'm an artist first for with out music I do not exist. Cannot exist. So I'm a musician that happens to be a father. And not a father who is a musician. And there is a difference.

At my best I am creatively Genius. Passionate, extremely giving and emotional!!
                  
At my worst I'm a brat. spoiled and impulsive, and again, emotional.
Written & expressed by 
GBANJAH CARTER


Gbanjah's Favorite Quotations



"You Will Stay Long Inside!!" -Robbie Hoff

"Tru Crab Crawfee Drink Water" Lifucius

"Fly was living Before dog ear cut" -Lifucius

"Cassavaleaf not for Billy Goat one" -Lifucius

"Nothin spoil"!! - Post War Apocalypto

"Give me Rio or give me Death"- Josh Carter
****************************************************************************************************************************************************
Gbanjah Carter is a spirit & a soul. 
 
So often spirits roam the earth in bodies & seen as just human beings, but when you celebrate & honor your greatness within, you offer the world your soul.  In Gbanjah I see a soul.  
He is an amazing soul who has shown the whole world that he is the true definition of what greatness is.  He has done this in so many ways that has inspired me & countless others. 
 
Anybody that is fearless in exploring the world, loving themselves & putting children first has put the stamp on GREATNESS! You can't help but LOVE Gbanjah because you don't hear him sing, you hear his heart, his spirit & his soul sing his truth each time he smiles, loves or is on stage performing.  
If you want to know how to become love by stepping into your greatness fearlessly, then take notes from Gbanjah.  I consider him family, friend & without a doubt GREATNESS!  ~Bindu

FACEBOOK FEEDBACK- DREAM BIG PEOPLE!!!


Bindu · 1,716 like this
Friday at 11:03am · 
  
Dream big people & don't allow facebook or anyone's comments, ideas or your own doubt/fears to hold you back. You have to know why you want to do what you desire to do & it should never be to please people.

I want to say *THANK YOU* to "Shishir Monowar" for allowing me to share some truth today. This was my response to him regarding his desire to write about "social diseases" & express himself through writing.

"Anything is possible! If you are not comfortable writing then try expressing yourself on video to see if you like doing that much better. Whenever you decide you are going to do something in life, you have to push through your doubts or fears. I didn't think my thoughts or writing was a big deal & sometimes I still don't but I love doing it so that's what matters most to me. I have a busy life so I write when I can, review it, make edits & changes when I can. I have typos, errors & I'm dyslexic. I really don't care what people think because my intentions are good. I do mean well. If people like it great but if I love it, even better. With that said.....I look forward to reading your thoughts one day. *FOLLOW YOUR HEART*" ~BINDU :-)

BECOME A MEMBER @ http://inmyhead-bindu.blogspot.com/p/contact.html


IN MY HEAD: Contact
inmyhead-bindu.blogspot.com
Is about BINDU sharing her TRUTH through poetic expressions, empowering thoughts 
& creative writing. A unique perspective offering wisdom & insight. All inspired by love & 
life lessons on friendships, relationships, parenting, culture, humanity & many 
wonderful thoughts IN MY HEAD!
Like ·  · Share
Elizabeth Ziama-Massaquoi, Dalila de Bourg-Hornak, Gail Perry and 3 others like this.

Alissa Charles I have to say, I don't ever see the so called "typos" or other errors you speak of. I see you writing what touches me and makes me think and want to do better. I still have a lon...See More
Friday at 11:13am · Unlike · 1

Bindu @ Alissa.....Thanks so much! You are definitely my second blessing of the day! 
I really appreciate your feedback. I know some of the things I say or suggest is not easy 
at all to do or sometimes wrap your mind around. Every single thing in life is a process 
& we just have to pace ourselves while we do what we can. There are lessons for us 
even as we stand still in our fears. I've learned to live internally, love internally & put 
myself first because I believe in myself. It took me a long time to get this far but I 
did it by letting go of one fear at a time. I made peace with myself by letting go of 
anger & demanding peace of mind. You have to fight for who you are in this world 
but before you go into battle you must begin the journey of learning who you truly 
are. I am love & affection that is why I am comfortable speaking truth from my 
perspective but also learning truth from another person's perspective. I'm okay with 
all of it because I had to learn how to be okay with me. The lessons don't end &
I plan to learn for the rest of my life. 
THANK YOU & PEACE + MANY BLESSINGS to you! :-)
Friday at 11:23am · Like · 1

Gail Perry Absolutely!!!
Friday at 12:21pm via mobile · Unlike · 1

CONNECT WITH ME ON FACEBOOK @ https://www.facebook.com/binduinmyhead

Saturday, September 29, 2012

MIXED CHICKS-MIXED CULTURES-MIXED LIFE! -PART III

Let me tell you something about truth & love.  When both truth & love has been poured into your soul from the womb there is nothing anybody in this world can do to take that away from you.  Hate cannot hurt your core & leave your worth in the gutter because you always come back to what you know.  

In other words, if you were given some of that powerful unconditional love & fed some truth, then you will always return to love & truth.  We all will go through many experiences in life.  Yes, some will be harsh, painful & so brutal that the hurt in unbearable, but learning your lessons through healing will lead you back to love. 


When you can see truth & feel truth within your soul, then hate can never penetrate it.  Healing is the only remedy!  With that said, I'm trying to get to the root of our worth today.  What do we do today, from 2012 & beyond to heal ourselves? 


I need to find out who is really cutting our worth down into & beneath the ground before we get a chance to truly discover our greatness?  Why are we not armed & prepared for battle when it comes to dealing with the hurt racism has & still cause to black people?

I ask this question because before I knew about racism, slavery, hatred & all of the evil this world does hold, I knew my mother's love.  I learned my value & my worth through my mother's love.  From the womb  I was already armed, protected & ready for life's battle with hate.  


I was protected very early.  I received my mother's unconditional love, in such a way that this world does not stand a chance at cutting my worth down to its core.  I promise you that I will always rise above it because I know who I am.  This world does not define me & it does not define you either.


So again I ask, who is cutting our worth down to its core.  Is it the men we date that compare our skin tones & hair textures?  Is it the mothers that compared the skin & hair textures of their precious daughters in a way that devalued their worth & made them question what beauty really is?  


I'm seeking truth right now so help me understand.  What do men show off or embrace more?  Is it light skin & long hair? OR Is it dark black beautiful skin tones with thick lips & a beautiful wide nose?  Who makes us feel less then first before our image is presented in the media?  Who armed us to battle these demons or who sold & set us up to be defeated by them?


You have to know your worth & value yourself before you can raise a family & pass that knowledge onto future generations.  
We have to go to the root cause & acknowledge the self hate within the homes that was fed to us from our very own mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, friends & the men we choose to date. 


The same men who we wait patiently for as they pick & choose among the female kitty litter.  We allow this to continue if we don't see it for what it is. Somebody is cutting the core of our worth & it is leaving us unarmed & unprepared for the heavy burden of hatred before we step out into the world & face hate on a larger scale.

My truth is that yes, I was fed self hatred at a young age, but it was too late.  It was no match for the self love I was fed from my mother's womb.  It could never penetrate the truth within my soul.  I've dealt with racism, hatred & even self hate at one point in my life, but in the end, I returned to love.

We already know there is a toxic fume of negative energy that was & still is purposely placed on black beauty & worth from slavery & racism within society.   Even though we know it created a legacy of destroyed minds, beaten down souls, broken spirits & all by design we still give into it.  We give into it when we hurt our own people & other races.


We can rise above it.  Unfortunately, how some people respond out of anger or ignorance, just reminds me of the saying, "if you can't beat them join them".   How are we living in love & truth when we hear our own people say things like..."Pretty for a brown skin or dark skin girl......Pretty for a black girl"?  


Why wouldn't we feel worthless? And worse why would some people who are light skinned believe their own hype?  It's a lie but somebody is feeding people lies & some people are eating it up! With so many things that can & will break us down in this world why can't we fight this war with self love & win it? 


My truth is that I have never put any human being down for having features like dark skin, nappy hair, full lips & a wide nose.  I can see clearly so I have & always will recognize real true beauty whenever I see it.  


If our own men & women can't see us for who we truly are, then how are we suppose to be black & be proud?  And furthermore how is the world suppose to see our worth when our hurt, pain & shame is on display?  We owe nobody nothing but we do owe ourselves truth!


I'm armed, so racism & hate does not penetrate.  Nobody is going to tell me who I am, instead they are welcomed to learn my truth & earn my friendship.  If people choose to be ignorant, racist & mindless then it is their loss.  Greatness is within me!  Greatness is within you!  Greatness is within black, white, brown, yellow, red bone & every color or skin tone.


If love has no color, then why do we keep feeding hate instead of rising above it?  We feed it every time we focus on color first instead of our real issues.  I choose to digest truth & feed off love.  I wish the same for everyone. 


Black is beautiful, Brown is beautiful, Nappy hair is beautiful.  Hispanic is beautiful, Asian is beautiful & so are other races, cultures & ethnic groups.  Diversity is a beautiful thing!  What makes each of us ugly is our character, our mindset & our negative patterns of behavior that stem from anger, hurt, hate & pain.  


I could go deeper & break this topic down into a billion little pieces but I will end it here.  We all have a choice to stay stuck in hate for others or worse, self hate.  My truth is I know the answers to all of these questions, but I put it out there because I would love to hear people share their truth. 

When hate won't work for you.....May I suggest BECOMING LOVE?  

PEACE & BLESSINGS TO ALL!  

CONNECT WITH ME ON FACEBOOK @
https://www.facebook.com/binduinmyhead

FACEBOOK FEEDBACK- *TRUTH*



Every single time I try to post I come across something that drives my point home about some of the issues I love to touch on. This post was taken from a friends facebook page. (A very intelligent young black man & former classmate of mine said:

"From "Black is Beautiful" to Butt injections, lace front wigs, skin bleaching, plastic surgery & Barbie Doll feature-like obsession??? #How..." 


That is some raw *TRUTH* & I'm happy he said it......My outlook is how do we look a little deeper into what it really means just to see if there just might me some self hate or self worth issues going on. 

Hey, I could be completely wrong but I will never know if I don't ask, share my truth & experiences as well as hear the voices of others regarding this topic. 




PLEASE CORRECT ME IF I AM WRONG & SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS OR JUST READ & TAKE THIS ALL IN:

TRUTH: "SOME" Dark skin black males have truly hurt dark skin black females. (When I say "black" I mean specifically African Americans, because there are dark skin in ALL cultures, Hispanic, Guyanese, etc....And you are kidding yourselves if you think that they are claiming "BLACK & PROUD". Some but not most) Sorry but I'm sharing truth today so here we go......*BRACE YOURSELVES BUT FOCUS ON HEALING THE HURT*


TRUTH: It begins in the home. "SOME" Black women in, near, around & out of our lives, for example: our great grandmothers, grandmothers, mothers, aunts, godmothers, cousins, friends, teachers, mentors, role models, etc..... they played "favorites" among their very own children & family members. They pointed out "good hair". They pointed out who was pretty & who want not. They taught light skin was better. They pointed out "skin tone, color & complexion". They made living as a child & growing into true worth very difficult & uneasy. 

I know exactly where self hate stems from but what I'm saying is when do we end it? How do you step into a world of hatred when you've never been armed with self love by being offered unconditional love from birth? How does that work?



FOR MORE TRUTH....CONNECT WITH ME ON FACEBOOK @ https://www.facebook.com/binduinmyhead

FACEBOOK FEEDBACK ON "MIXED CHICKS-MIXED CULTURES-MIXED LIFE!





Okay so just when I thought I was going to end this topic......the behind the scenes feedback tugs at my soul. For those that do not personally know me please understand that you are seeing & dealing with a soul, a spirit & a brave heart. I live life from within.

With that said, I truly understand that people are VERY uncomfortable & afraid to speak up, to speak the hard core truth based on their reality & experiences. What is crazy to me is that people are truly hurting in so many ways but are not allowed to talk about it. We can say that people are free to use their voice & say what is on their minds but no they are not. Society won't let them, backlash won't let them, negative comments won't let them & also concern/worry that they are not being sensitive enough or maybe it is not their place to say how they feel, is stopping them from saying what is really on their hearts & minds.


When you can't be honest about how you really feel then you can never stand in truth, instead you will stand in fear. I choose to stand in love so I welcome truth because I know I have the power to heal from any hurt & pain that I hear, see, feel & experience. We all are powerful & my wish for everyone is that they use their gifts & their powers for something positive & healing. PEACE & BLESSINGS TO ALL! :-)


BECOME A MEMBER @ http://inmyhead-bindu.blogspot.com/


  • PositivelyMe Camie very true so many stigmas that ppl keep things locked inside unable to show true self. its very hard in todays society to live in truth when reality has become so blurred with fakeness and most ppl trying to be anothers persona...great topic Bindu..
    5 hours ago · Unlike · 1
  • Bindu Thanks so much Camie!!! If we don't dig deep then we will never get to the root of our hurt & pain. My main point was that we already have to deal with racism & discrimination on so many levels, so why are we not working towards healing ourselves as well as our families so we can eventually heal our communities. It's starts with home. If you were to compare your children & point out skin tone as well as hair texture to them, that is teaching them self hate. They will question their worth & that is going on in the black community, in all cultures, in America & worldwide. It needs to end but it must start with us, in our homes with our families. People segregate in the home when they show favoritism among children. If children question their worth before they walk out the door into a racist & hateful world so what kind of adults will they become. Something as simple as loving your children equally & unconditionally will build their worth. I love your soul & thank you for using your voice!!! Much love to you Camie!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXO :-)


    CHECK ME OUT ON FACEBOOK @ https://www.facebook.com/binduinmyhead

Thursday, September 27, 2012

FACEBOOK FEEDBACK ON "MIXED CHICKS"

FEEL FREE TO COMMENT & SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS......

  • Bindu Had to share......She's gorgeous & she knows it! *LOVE IT*
  • Julian Rita Addo My mom is half German and half Liberian. I have German blood but that does not make me mixed. Correct me if I am wrong, but I do not think those who have mixed cultures/races/blood is unique at all, well they are but I don't feel that is what makes them unique...we are all mixed in some way, somewhere down the line. It is just that society places more value on lighter skin vs. darker skin... period. I cannot believe there is a whole page of almost 50k people to celebrate this "uniqueness". That is funny to me...
  • Julian Rita Addo She's beautiful nonetheless, but I find it disturbing that she says she is mixed and she is excited about it, jmo....
  • Cynthia Quinn Reynolds This is such a interesting concept to me as well because it seems that our black or American American identification is sultely being discarded for a more acceptable moniker... Becsuse of our hIstory In thIs country I do understand why, but I agree with Ms. Addo. Most, if not all of us have a genetic mixture... I choose to stay black :-)
  • Bindu @ Rita......Welcome to the MIXED LIFE & MIXED MINDSET!! We will touch on some raw truth today! :-)

    The truth is we all think differently & that does not shock nor disturb me at all. Some people who are Irish & Italian consider themselves to be mixed. Now you could be absolutely right but there are almost 50,000 people on the Mixed Chicks page & millions on an international level that just might disagree with you. Also I feel they are doing exactly what African Americans & most black people do & that is say all day long that they are BLACK & PROUD. I personally don't think it needs to be put on display & said all day everyday but I bet there are millions of black people who would disagree based on slavery, our history & culture. 

    Most people in the United States refer to "MIXED" as black & white or bi-racial. We all know the "One Drop" of black blood rule comes into play whenever we discuss being mixed which always makes this topic a heated one. I agree that yes, we are all mixed in some way. Now we can have a unique look & style that can allow us to stand out from the crowd in some way but what truly makes us unique & special is what's within. That's just my perspective & everyone is entitled to their own. We should all know & understand that. Her culture is not like the Liberian, West African culture. I don't consider myself mixed but many people do. It depends on the mindset & the culture. I have a lot of West Indian friends, Jamaican friends, Indian & of course African friends, etc.......We talk about race, color & culture. The good hair, light bright & close to white thing is very real in every culture but some more than others. It's wrong but people do raise their kids to place their value & sense of worth in being mixed, light skinned with "good" hair. That is a very real mindset but I didn't apply it to this girl because when I looked at her I saw Cuban/Spanish where as somebody else would have seen Jamaican or African American. I don't know how she was raised, what she was exposed to or what she was taught in her home but I can take a guess that it played a part in how she expressed herself as a young woman. Either way I'm not disturbed because that's HER truth & she's beautiful regardless.

    Everybody is not thinking the way other cultures may think. Also from my experience as a black woman dealing with "SOME", not all but a whole lot of black people there is always an issue with this topic because of the LIGHT SKINNED & DARK SKINNED elephant that never leaves the room. The sad truth is no matter how much black people shout it from the mountain tops, every black person is not proud to be black or have dark skin & kinky hair. Some people have to grow into loving their blackness with a pure sense of pride & some people have to be shamed into loving their blackness because they don't have self love. The other sad truth is that some people who have light skin, curly or straight hair really believe that they are better than people with dark skin & that's not just in the U.S., that's worldwide. That is the truth & it comes out in very different ways. When you get into a person's history, culture & what is taught within the household among family then you will get a clear picture of each person's individual mindset. I'm not at all disturbed at what she said & kind of understand why she didn't see anything wrong in speaking this way. Color struck & identifying with anything but being black, dark skin & African is very real. Most people don't want to say that but I will because it's the truth. 

    I listen & pay attention to everything people say but most important I see & watch what people do. All of this has everything to do with self love. I love myself enough to know that it's not up to me to define or decide what makes others unique, proud or mixed. I have my perspective & am quite comfortable with it. They have theirs & I am quite comfortable with how they choose to celebrate & embrace it. That's why I said on my blog that this topic can is likely to go downhill because it can be discussed on so many levels. Thank you for spicing it up!!! XOXOXOXO :-)
  • Bindu @ Cynthia.......I understand exactly what you are saying which is why I just wrote a whole book in response to Ms. Addo.... :-) Your perspective is an African American woman from the United States so it makes perfect sense. What the rest of America does not consider is the international culture regarding color lines & what people identify with & why. Everything goes back to DARK SKIN vs LIGHT SKIN but I like to take it a step further by saying that the mixed thing only really takes an emotional toll or brings up mixed feelings when people are not truly comfortable within their own skin. People could be upset with me for not saying that part of my people are from Lebanon but if I was not raised by my Lebanese side of my family then I will identify with the culture that I was raised & influenced by which is the Liberian, West African side. If I walked around saying I am Lebanese & African instead of just saying I am African or I am a black woman I guarantee the black & African community would raise hell. I'm just calling it like I see it. Thanks for the feedback......I'm loving the discussion! XOXOXOXO
  • Julian Rita Addo Coming back! LOL!!! Bear with me...
    22 hours ago · Unlike · 1
  • Bindu @ Rita......Ha!!! I knew I could count on you to bring it home......I'm bracing myself! (lol) *Thank you for sharing your thoughts & your truth* :-)
  • Cynthia Quinn Reynolds Whew that was alot cuz... :-) as you stated earlier this is such a hot topic, but discussion about it is always good to me, especially if we can agree to disagree. I LOVE hearing the honest different concepts about race, because it helps me learn how people are really thinking. My thoughts have evolved so much over the years and I am sure they will continue to change... My perspective is from a " Negro, Colored,Afro-American and now African American" middle aged woman in America. I mentioned all of those names because those are a few of the names that the descendants of Africans who were inslaved have been called over the years. I am in support of everyone identifying with whatever they want to be called because it has no impact on my life and who am I to say who or what you are. After much thought about this today I asked myself "why is there a tinge of smh when people use the mixed label" I'm being honest about letting people identify with want they want, but I also smh if that makes any sense :-) Because of the history in my culture(African American) it feels like a move backwards... People of color identified themselves as octoroons,quadroons, mulattoes etc. During and post slavery. These classifications were different from the "one drop rule" which as we know classified the person as black. Back in the day these people were also self identified as black ( unless they were passing) lol that's another story. Today people who are mixed seem to 
    embrace the mixed label, but I have seen/ heard very few who also state that they are black. Unlike you in your blog :-) When people who have been historically identified as black and they drop their blackness and embrace their mixedness (making up words now) it feels like a loss and a disregard to everything they they say they love. I share your thought: can't you be mixed and black??? I embrace my blackness like my womanhood, my motherhood, my professionalism, my Christanity and the other things that make me who I am. I find that when I want to embrace and include my blackness, I get " Oh that shouldn't matter etc. Etc. Etc." As if it's something too be ashamed of. It seems as if African American history and culture is slowly disappearing under the guise of " we're all just one big happy generic, mixed :-) family" My dad's grandfather was classified as a "mulatto" on the U.S. Census, and since we are related you know that our family members are represented on all hues of skin tones, so like you I was never really exposed to the light skin dark skin thing or one being better than the other. It's sad that this is still an issue, but this just means that we're human like other races and cultures who have their own irrational, hurtful preferences ie. Blond and blue, tow heads etc. It still amazes me that people 
    believe that only people of color do this. Well that's it for me, and I don't know how you do this everyday, but I love and respect you for it.
    Much love xoxox
    17 hours ago via mobile · Edited · Unlike · 1
  • Julian Rita Addo Lawd Geezus....where do I start?

    I agree she has many different cultures in her that makes up her ethnicity, but she IS NOT mix...as you stated, the most common referral is black
     and white parents (YOUR IMMEDIATE PARENTS, NOT YOUR PARENTS PARENTS OR SO FORTH). Sorry but her truth or not...SHE IS NOT MIXED. I AM NOT MIXED. My mother is mixed and I inherited some of her German blood. My Father is Ghanian, my mother is black and white. I am Ghanian/Liberian with German blood that MAY very well be reflected in my seeds, or further down the line...that WILL NOT make THEM mixed (unless their father is white hehehehe), but they will have the blood line of many different cultures. I understand that is my opinion and everyone has theirs, but I am opinionated so I will stack it "high against the wall" LOL!!! What disturbs me is her enthusiasm to find out claim she is "mixed"...as if that makes her better off than she was before. It may very well be that I read too much into it...but hey, that's what I got :)

    Secondly, I am GLAD your brought your sis by same ma and pa in the mix. I was going to address today when I first read your feedback. The DIVIDE is not so much with being mixed in this WORLD, as it is with color, the lighter the better, whether you are "mixed" or not. I bet know one asks your sister what she is mixed with? Even though she IS mixed...she will not have the "biracial issues" you have/had with other women...or the admiration from men that prefer "mixed chicks". Plenty lighter toned women feel superior to darker toned women...plenty darker toned women are insecure about their darkness...and plenty men prefer lighter toned women with curly hair. I experience that ALL DAY when I post a pics on my Bella Kinks FB page. The darker toned woman damn near has to have either white features (straighter nose) to get equal likes as a curly spiral head light chick. Or she has to have extremely exotic features where she stands out...This is just the way it is...It bothers women that are not secure with themselves. It does not bother me one bit. I thank God for growing up with a "mixed" looking sister because I really think it helped me in this department. I think If I didn't have the sister I have, I probably would have had this same complex, other darker toned women have. I am brown skin, short and have some thickness to me, I realize that as a woman, I may not be every man's cup of tea and I am alright with that. I never feel down about who I am or how God made me because of someone else's skin color...or anything else for that matter. Every is entitled to choose what they want, color or not.

    Growing up for me was hard and I really had to get past my self esteem issues, which I did with the help of my sister's personal struggles. I remember being 5 or 6, folks would see my mom with me and my sister and boldly insinuate I was not my mother's daughter, because I was darker. They would tell my sister how pretty she was...and say nothing to me. Growing up...I was the smart one...my sister was the beautiful one. This could have played on me, but God was by my side. Having an older sister as beautiful as Pauline was/is, and watching her taught me how I needed to carry myself and a thing or 2 about the world. I watch my sister struggle with relationships, beauty and self esteem. I learned early on that no matter how pretty you are, no one is exempt from the trials and tribulations of life and relationship woes. I learned that beauty fades...it's what attracts men but "humans" can become quickly bored if there is nothing more than looks that abound. I saw first hand these by her pain. I had a light bulb moment at 15!!! I was never the same. I LOVE being black...and I love that I have many different cultures in me. I cannot wait to see how generation after me will turn out. I think all the colors are beautiful. I just try to be the best looking me!

    I don't feel that proud to be black moniker is the same as the mixed page at all. Just take a look at the wall and the comments and you see the continuous divide... Black is acknowledge in all shades...mixed is only acknowledged if you're light skinned. I bet if your sister went on there and said she was mixed, it would be wide opened for discussion. If you did...no one would question it.
  • Julian Rita Addo Whatver you are, I love you because of you and your heart. You could be purple for all I care!!!If there are any typos or grammatical errors (which I'm sure) sorry!!! I don't even...See More
    17 hours ago · Unlike · 2
  • Bindu @ Rita......don't make me start with my heavy african accent....ur killing me with "Lawd Geezus...." (i hole ya foot...lol)