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Friday, August 3, 2012

YOU'RE NOT GROWN

Some people love to use, abuse & misuse the word "GROWN".  I always hear "I'm too grown for this!" or I don't need to put up with that because I'm grown.  I'm soooooo grown!!!!  First of all, real grown people wouldn't put themselves anywhere near or in a situation that would cause them to explain how grown they really are.  This is another case where if you're "SO GROWN" then your life will reflect it, which means if it shines brightly then it doesn't need light!  

In other words all the real grown ups are looking at the "I'm so grown folks" with the crooked eye.   Some things don't need to be said because everyone sees truth for exactly what it is.  I think people mean to say I'm working on being grown or I'm work in progress with becoming grown.  You're either grown or you're not.  Being grown is a permanent full-time gig so you can't apply for a part-time position with this job.

I realized that I had grown up a whole lot when I had no tolerance left for nonsense.  I officially fell wayyyyyy back from anyone or anything that introduced me to drama, negativity & stupidity.  If my intuition shoots me those not quite right vibes, if something rubbed me the wrong way where I foresee problems, if people turned me off or caused me to want to go off I learned to stay away.  

Let's be honest here, the truth is some people like to push buttons, toss rocks at bear while they sit behind a tall fence & just be ignorant when they feel they have an audience to gain attention from.  A lot of "so grown" people love to show their ass!  One fact of life is that real grown people don't ever need to be checked.  Real grown people stay in their lane.  They know how to handle & mind their own business at the same time.  

Forget charm school I would wonder if people had boundaries or basic home training?  Do people not understand having manners & showing respect?  Do people not get what is appropriate or inappropriate behavior?  NOPE, they sure don't!!!!!  My lessons taught me to never put myself in a position where I have to chin check wanna be grown ups.  I have to share this because it happened to me several times & I couldn't figure this one out!  Why do "GROWN WOMEN" get jealous if you become friends with their close friends?  That's some nutty & very immature behavior.  I fall wayyyy back from that drama & nonsense.  My attitude is no thanks!  Please keep your "tell death do us part" clingy friendships away from me because I'm good!   

I'm being 100% honest when I say I don't allow people in my space who allow & keep all the wrong people in their space.  I'm not rude nor am I a mean spirited person but I am the shut down queen if you try me. I refuse to deal with jedi mind tricks or play silly games with people who claim to be grown but always cause unnecessary stress, drama & problems.  If I'm in your life I can honestly say that I choose to be there to add to your worth.  I will never take away from the foundation you've taken the time to build up in your personal life & with your family & friends.  I don't seek out people but if we cross paths or become friends I will stay away if you don't protect your foundation.  

Real grown people always protect their foundation because they worked hard to build it brick by brick with their blood, sweat & tears.  Allowing those people in your life who are fake or pretend to be grown will eventually lead to chips & cracks within your foundation.  You know you're grown when you leave them alone.  Those are life moments when you realized you've matured in a way where you consciously choose to raise the bar within every aspect of your life.  Those "I'm grown" people don't seem to understand just how big, busy & crazy life can really get for people who are focused on growth.  

Real grown people don't have time for the public service announcements about how grown they are because they are too busy working hard while being respectful & rational adults.  Real grown people don't tolerate or surround themselves with nonsense.  Real grown people don't fight with each other, involve children in adult problems & do spiteful things to people they claim to care about.  

You're not grown if you won't get a job but use people for money, cars, clothes & anything you can get from others.  You're not grown if you need to get over on people all the time.  You're not grown if you can't be honest with your family & friends.  You're not grown if you're shacking up with someone just because you know they love you enough to take care of you but you don't contribute to the household.

You're not grown if you don't take great care of your children.  You're not grown if you don't own anything that you worked hard for but are bragging about what you have.  You're not grown because you hold your man down while he's in the clubs without you wearing clothes & shoes you bought him knowing you want him to be more of a family man.  You're not grown just because you're married, in a house & drive a nice car but have a nasty attitude with the world cause your partner cheats too much!!!  That's your "so grown" problem so don't punish everyone cause you're mad!!

You're not grown if you're still having bar fights & too hung over to function the next day knowing you have to drop your kids to school.  You're not grown when you & your spouse have crazy arguments & fist fights while the kids try to pull you apart.  You're not grown when you trade your self respect to allow somebody to foot the bill for your lifestyle while you pretend to be independent.

Being grown is not easy!  It takes your energy, focus, time,  sacrifice & hard work.   Being grown means holding yourself accountable while being responsible for others.  At the end of the day if you want to grow up please stop talking about it & just BE GROWN!!!!

6 comments:

Alveda W. Farrow said...

THANK YOU BINDU!!

Being a grown up is about so much more than what you have or what your age is; it's about how you carry yourself.

I too was 'Grown up' long before I should have been so I spent my time with individuals twice my age and I learned a lot!! What I learned most is to not waste my time because REAL grown-ups have NO time to waste...um hum.

The other factor about being grown is how we demonstrate it to our children. They will feel as if they're grown if they view grown-ups consistently acting childish!

Much love sis...do your thing!! I'm loving your work. Mwah...xoxo

JenniferC said...

I love this post Bindu. My pet peeves are people who are disrespectful and those who have no manners. (I often find that those two things go hand in hand). I too have had to distance myself from those who create, promote and distribute drama. I try to lead a positive life and those who are negative will gladly be left behind.

TracyBrown said...

Love, love, love this, Bindu! <3

Bindu said...

@ Alveda........You said it loud & clear! There is so much more & the truth is we never stop growing in life which is the true meaning of "GROWN". Thank you for the feedback & thank you for sharing your deep thoughts. I must admit that I have been spending some late nights on your blog. VERY DEEP THOUGHTS!!!! http://peekingthroughthecracks.blogspot.com/

Continue to blog & flow forward in life!!!! XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Bindu said...

@ Jennifer C.....Thank you!! Some people just don't get it but you are right they do go hand in hand!! I do my best to avoid drama because I don't like hurting people & I don't intend to keep being hurt by people so I set myself free from drama a long time ago. I love me some peace & positive energy too so I can relate. ;-)

Bindu said...

@ Tracy......Thank you so much!!!XOXOXOXOXO