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Wednesday, August 29, 2012

THE MEANING OF FRIENDSHIP

If you don't breathe love into your friendships then it will have no life.  If you do not water your friendship with truth, then it will never grow & blossom.  If there is too much love lost & truth untold, then the meaning & purpose of being a friend & offering friendship will be lost.  

Friendship is a word that had to grow on me because I never seek out friendships.  I met my best friend in the 6th grade (over 27years ago) & she already had a best friend that she was very close with.  I was in a new environment at a new school so everybody was a stranger to me.  For some odd reason I was drawn to her & felt an energy that gave me a true sense of comfort whenever I was around her.  


I have had a few experiences with friends which has taught me so many lessons about who I am & who I can become.  Anybody can be a good friend but being a great or best friend means so much more.  I had to learn how to be a great & best friend.  I did it by just being myself with a take me as I am attitude because who I am will love & protect you always.  


I also learned that I see & define friendship a little differently than some of the friends I've had over the years.  Truth be told I'm an introvert at heart.  I could stay quiet among a crowd & just think all of the quirky thoughts *IN MY HEAD* for hours & then write them out later.  I also come from a large family with too many cousins to count, so I already had countless friends from an early age.  


I do keep a healthy distance from people, but I will allow them to lead the way so I can see who they really are.  If people want to be my friend I always welcome their friendship.  I would never be rude or shut people out without learning them.  I never seek out friendships because I know that I don't take it lightly.  I play by my own rules according to the standards that I've set.  I'm who I am but I never push who I am onto others because it wouldn't be fair.


Getting close to me & being my friend at times may not be the easiest thing.  I'm not difficult or complicated, I've just dealt with enough people to know that everybody's friendship may not fit my life or be required during different stages within life.  If I'm suppose to be friends with someone it will happen no matter what & it will be right on time.  


Friendships are not by coincidence.  There is truly a reason & purpose for every friend in your life.  If I'm around people & I am not learning or growing then I will feel stuck.  I want productive & purpose filled friendships, where we can lift each other's worth up to new heights.  I want to see my friends soar & reach for the stars.  I don't want to deal with time thieves who want to pour their energy into meaningless things.


Friendships should happen naturally because the right people always connect at the right time.  People define friendships in their own way so everyone will not have the same expectations.  If you struggle with being genuine & transparent then I fall back from the friendship.  


Sad but true that many times I would fall *wayyyy* back without saying a word or any communication.  It was done out of pure frustration with friends.  I'm not a teenager & at a certain age we all should have a clear idea of how to treat a friend.  Cross me once & you may not find me to cross me twice.  I don't play games.  I keep it positive but I sure do keep it moving!  

It is not what you say, it is what I see in your actions.  I set the bar high & continue to raise it on all of my friendships because I want to offer the best of who I am to others.  That is what a true friend should have & deserve, nothing less.  People offer external things but what I'm offering comes from within, so I know the value & worth of my friendship.  


Everybody can't or won't offer the kind of friendship you need.  Accepting any kind of friendship from any & everybody will always leave the friendship scale unbalanced.  When you enter into friendships the one question you should have an answer to is, how valuable is your time?  

Friends fill up your time so if you have a busy & hectic life you may not have too much time to offer a whole bunch of friends.  The problem with this is that they will eventually become your family so you must choose wisely & communicate honestly.

Let me tell you what my definition of friendship really means because I've seen people do some crazy stuff to each other.  I've been blown away by some of the things "friends" say about each other & what they put their friends through.  I'm sorry but it just does not add up on my calculator!

  
"Either you're for me or you're in my way." ~Quashie
I've learned the meaning of friendship from my mother who has countless true blue lifetime friends. Her friends are now her family & they are from all over this world.  They have been in her life & were showing her love, long before I was born.  All of her friends can call her & she will be right there by their side. 
Her friends are the real deal because my mother is the truth!  She may hurt your feelings once in a while because she is not going to *BS* you, but she will go all out for her friends.  The truth will hurt but it will also free you & lead you towards love.  That's my mother in a nutshell!
Her friends have looked out for me & my siblings as if they brought us into this world.  Because of the kind of sisterhood & brotherhood type of relationships that my mother has created through friendships, it is impossible for me & mine to ever be alone in this world.  I guarantee you that we will always be well taken care of because this is how my mother has treated her friends & this is how her friends treat her.
Her friendships are not perfect where they don't have disagreements & don't see eye to eye, but the level of mutual respect is so high that their bond of friendship is unbreakable.  They respect my mother! They respect her husband!  They respect her children!  They love & respect her & she offers them the same.  This is the meaning of friendship.
My mother's friends have been in her life so long that they have changed my diapers & my children's diapers!  If I was to lose everything I've worked so hard for tomorrow,  I would still have doors opened wide to welcome me & my family in with open arms.  The guest rooms would be cleaned, beds made, table set for us to be fed & the clothes would be laid out to cover our backs.  *TRUTH*

When I think of friendships I think of all of the people that walked into my life & made it so much better.  They are too many too count & post pics of but they are all very special friends.  I think of the growth & progress I've made because they loved me enough to tell me the truth about myself.  I think of how my children are their children & their children are mine.  

Intention is so important.  Never use the word friendship loosely or take friendship lightly.  Either love people genuinely with the best intention for them & their family or leave them alone.

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