Friday, August 31, 2012


As I leaned over just baking in the extreme heat of summer, my thoughts caused my mind to drift, my spirit to float & my soul to soak life up like a wet sponge.  
Nope! I wish but I'm not in the South of France enjoying vacation.  It occurs to me that I am definitely "IN MY HEAD" right now, as I lean my forearm on hot red bricks as if I don't feel the burn. 

I feel the scorching heat & the burn, just like my thoughts it carried a strong energy that left me heated yet cool & calm.  These are the times were my spirit speaks to my heart & allows my peace to be still.

As I stand still to watch my son play in the park.  Inside of me there is a strong sense of satisfaction in knowing he specifically chose me.  I feel honored yet strong & fearless about who I am as a mother.  

Never taking my eyes off of him as I calmly think thoughts about my life.  I wonder what this stage is called.  I think about how well I am handling the highs & lows.   There is a calm strength within me that assures me this is exactly where I am suppose to be, doing exactly what I am suppose to be doing.  

My mind is focused on the strength of mothers. I'll never forget being called a horrible mother.   It pierced my soul something awful! It was my first time being a mom.  I didn't know what postpartum depression was I just knew that my spirit was broken & my sadness was heavy. 

We accept unimaginable things when we do not know our true worth.  The lesson in that experience for me was that your children are the truth.  Their eyes and heart speak truth.  My self esteem fed off their love. 

Today I bask in the sun like I bask within the joy I create......NO REGRETS.  If  life is going to hurt then I want to grip the lesson in that pain.  If life is going to heal then I want to freely embrace all the joy in it.  

It feels empowering to get life lessons & figure out how to apply them daily.

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