Saturday, August 4, 2012


Women are tribes within a tribe, within more tribes.  We can either do more damage or we can heal each other.  This is how we function sometimes.  Women tend to label & seperate themselves so much that they don't have honest communication about what women really think & feel about each other, or why they feel the way they do.   How do we understand why we do what we do, if we don't honestly share our truth in a sincere way?  

Women should be checking each other from a place of concern & love.  There really are reasons, signs & signals behind everything we do to ourselves & to each other, consciously or unconsciously.  How we carry ourselves tells a story about our history, experiences & life lessons that we didn't learn.  It also tells the world something about the masks we wear to cover up what we don't want the world to see inside of us.  

We need to have open truth talks about things that have a negative effect on us as women, because what we do or say to & about each other does matter.  We can pretend it doesn't, but the truth is that it does.  I've heard some of the dumbest stories & excuses for why some women behave a certain way or react in a negative way towards other women.  

No EVERY women is not jealous of you & EVERY woman does not want your man.  No EVERY man does not want to have sex with you & no you can't really believe that you can have ANY man you want, even if he is taken.  That is a really dysfunctional outlook on life.  One big issue among women is not acting like a lady. You can't turn your gutterbutt on & off like a light switch because life doesn't work that way.  You will be labeled & judged, even if people know that is not who you truly are.  

Women need to understand why some women think that other women are too loose & embarrassing to be around.  Women also need to understand that there are different levels of looseness.  It can rank from high to really low or worse, gutterbutt!  The real issue is if you are ranked because you're all still in the same category.  You don't want to be the top loose chick or the chick that is only  3/4 loose.  That's like being a prostitute but only on Tuesdays & Thursdays.  You should just be mindful of your behavior if you want to be treated like a lady.  Real ladies are mindful & aware of their behavior.  

Women can love each other to death but the minute one seems to stand out with that over the top sexual behavior there is going to be a problem.  When you have a group of women cosigning & not one female in the group is checking her friend or telling her to slow down, then the whole group is considered a lost cause.  This is because it is inviting the wrong kind of attention so people assume all of you are loose.  "IF IT QUACKS LIKE A DUCK".......well you know how the saying goes!  

Some females have learned negative behavior & may not fully understand that every time they are around other people that is not their chance to put their sexuality on display.  Okay, you win the I can get attention award!  We get it you are pretty, sexy & all the men want you! Congrats!!!  We've seen this story a million times but I'm going to just lay it on the line & be very clear & very honest because it needs to be said.  When women are not lady like people are thinking negative thoughts about them.  When your mouth is too foul or you blurt out ignorant things & just don't know how to carry yourself like a lady people consider you to be gutterbutt or loose!  

Women will give passes to their girlfriends but when there is a pattern & women feel other women aren't behaving like ladies, they begin to fall back from hanging around them in certain places, like wherever a group of men will be at.  It can be worse because instead of being honest, some women will hang out with women then gossip about them behind their backs.  Just say look you're making us all look bad, cut that mess out!!!  FYI-What you do is a reflection of your circle.

I personally choose to fall back because in my heart I know there really is an emotional disconnect & some women just don't get it.  I'm not better than any other woman, I just get life lessons in a way that allows me to dodge life's bullets.  If you keep behaving unlady like especially in a group or public setting but don't think people will talk about you, judge you & throw dirt on you based on your actions, then you are delusional.  They are talking about you & ain't saying nothing nice!  

Now if you don't care & it doesn't hurt your feelings then cool, you are good to go!  If you like your loose behavior & feel good about "doing you" then by all means stay gutterbutt.  Just understand that most males will not be honest & tell you that they don't consider you worthy, lady like, marriage material or a mother they can respect.  The reason for this is because most males don't call you what they think of you to your face because that kills their chance to sleep with you.

Men already know this because men say it behind women's backs.  Men have clear idea of who they respect & will treat like a queen or wife.  They also know exactly who they want to use for recreation or whenever they feel like stroking their ego.  Nobody is showing off their bootycall cause you're not considered special.  Males will tell you whatever you want to hear or believe.  They will have you thinking you are the most hot & amazing thing walking on this earth.  Before you believe what they say please pay attention to what they do.

You can be a part of a male's daily activities by being someone he'll use for a good time or you can be someone who means so much more than that.  I think females get confused because men say things like "I really want to be with you", "I love you so much", "You are my baby", "I have to have you in my life", "Your body is amazing", "Girl do that thing that you do so well", "You look & cook so good you make me wanna marry you"!!!  Uummmmmm... then why don't you shop for those diamonds right now????? That's what I call dropping jewels!!!  Don't focus on what he says just watch what he does.  

A lot of males are immature so they will mix & match women up so they can put them in a pecking order.  Males know when women are weak, vulnerable, thirsty, desperate for love, affection & attention from men.  They keep a check list in their head.  If you allow it they will prey on your insecurities, weaknesses & bad habits.  You cannot expect another person to love you more than you love yourself or treat you better than you would treat yourself.  

People who come into your life usually follow your flow.  What you do to yourself teaches them what you will allow them do to you.  You are responsible for sending the right or the wrong signals.  If you conduct yourself like a lady then they will have no choice but to treat you like one.  It doesn't matter if you are unlady like on the weekends but act like a lady during the week.  Once you put yourself out there you will be known for the things you choose to do.  

A real lady knows her worth & does not waste her time allowing frogs to block her from finding her true prince.  She will not allow men to run through her & make her feel unworthy.  A lady knows she is powerful & will use it to build up her worth.

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