Monday, August 20, 2012


This is a sensitive topic for me because it took me a long time to acknowledge that all I ever wanted or dreamed of was to be "Daddy's Little Girl". 
Just about every dad I know is not only present within their child's life but are true nurturers.  They do such an amazing job that it warms my heart to see all the love they consciously pour into their kids.  I can see & feel how much they not only embrace but also how much they cherish being a dad.  I really enjoy quality time with family because those are the special moments where I can sit back & enjoy some of life's really precious moments that leave a beautiful imprint on my heart.  Moments like watching all of the dads interact with the kids in our family.  They do it in such a way that it has truly created unforgettable memories combined with an unbreakable bond between parent & child.  I really respect how all of my brother-in-laws handle fatherhood.  Each one of them are truly amazing fathers.  
I enjoy the relationship between my nephew & his dad.  He drives his dad crazy but truly can't go a day without his dad around.  I tell my nephew all the time that he should appreciate his dad because he is fortunate to have a hands on father who would do anything for him & never leave his side.  His dad is in his corner & has his back every step of the way.  I wish all children were blessed to be so loved by their dads.  I must admit that I do have a soft spot in my heart every time I see or feel the energy of how they handle their daughters with such love & care. 
I watch my brother in laws pour out the love within their hearts into their kids but it really does touch my soul when I see them show love & affection to their little girls.  I've come to realize that I live through my nieces & smile at the joy on their faces when they coo while watching their dad's every move or when they say "MY DADDY".  Their dads really do an excellent job with loving & supporting their kids.  

I know children can be raised  very well by one parent, grandparents, an aunt or uncle & do very well in life but it is a very different feeling when your biological parents love you just right.  It is always a blessing for a child to have a strong, loving & supportive living environment with guardians who will not only protect but encourage & believe in them. Being a daughter & a mother has taught me that there truly is so much more to the parent child relationship.   Kids that do not have both parents who are stable human beings with a healthy mindset that work together to be fully present & hands on within their lives truly miss out.   

No matter how great kids turn out when they become an adult, they will still reflect on those moments where they wished they had both parents.   Children truly benefit from a strong, loving, nurturing, supportive & protective mother & father.  Yes one can do the job of both but it doesn't make it fair or right nor does it fulfill their children.  My parents divorced when I was a toddler so I know without a doubt how crucial it is for fathers to be truly present within their daughter's lives.   It is very true that a mother or a father cannot offer & give their children what they don't have within them.  Children do not understand this & the child within each adult always has questions as to how & why couldn't my parents do more or be more to me as a child.  

As a little girl I use to allow my imagination to run wild with thoughts of my dad.  I use to tell myself he's flying on a big airplane all over the world & he got lost so that is why he won't come to see me or he was a king who was so busy ruling his kingdom for the people who really needed him to save them & that is why he couldn't make it to visit me.  Too bad I had to grow up & wake up to face more life lessons about truth & reality.  Those little girl wishes where I use to dream of being "Daddy's little girl" ended when years went by before I got a chance to see my dad.

I would think of all the times where I needed him so much.  Yes I had male figures who supported & loved me but children always want the real to get it right.  Children chase the fairytale & will live on fantasy island because the truth hurts.  This is why I always say "THE LITTLE GIRL WITHIN", because that little girl refused to go away.  She lives within me & pops out at my most insecure or weakest moments where I need love, nurturing, affection, support & strength from my dad.  I had to fight to make it from childhood to girlhood & stand firm in my womanhood.  I had set that little girl within me straight & tell her the truth that nobody else seemed to want to say to her.  I told her that she will always be "Daddy's Little Girl" but only IN HER HEAD.  I told her it was time to grow up & get over the disappointment of not having her dad to guide her or offer her wisdom.

I told the little girl within me to get off fantasy island & face reality, because if it was my path to be a true daddy's little girl then daddy would be a huge part of my life, but that was not my path.  This is why I go out of my way to tell father's what a great job they are doing with their kids, especially their daughters.  Girls need their fathers to guide, mold & shape their confidence as they grow within this world.  Fathers will be the examples of what their daughters see as acceptable or unacceptable when it comes to relationships or dealing with men.  We need to see the greatness within our father's so we don't settle for the man who will emotionally, physically & verbally harm us.  

Whatever we see in our father is what we seek in our relationships.  Whatever we missed out on or lack we will seek it out in our relationships.  The lifetime role of being a parent is so huge that you can easily stay stuck in your childhood wishing upon a star or become angry, bitter & resentful towards your parents.  It took me a long time to let go of the emptiness, the hurt, the disappointment of not being "Daddy's Little Girl".  Now that I have a solid grip on my womanhood I am hanging on for dear life in order to learn my lessons & not repeat them.

I had to figure out who I really was & become that without my biological father.  I had to get over expecting my other dad in my life to be more nurturing & affectionate towards me because girls need that.  I had to look to my uncles who loved & adored me & embraced them as father figures.  I learned to soak up the love that was offered & not demand it from my dads because life was teaching me that people cannot give you what they never had.  

I love the two father's I've been blessed with.  One dad gave me life & loved me the best way that he knew how to love me.  My other dad showed me the real meaning of manhood by the love & support he gave to my mom & our family.  Whatever they offered my mother, it sustained her enough to give her daughters a tremendous amount of support, nurturing & unconditional love.  My mother has never said a bad or negative word about my dads.  She taught me how to let go, forgive & become the love that I use to seek out in trying to become "Daddy's Little Girl".        

I am so thankful for growth & life lessons because today I can truly say that I am filled with gratitude because I have my dad(s). I now have both of my dad(s) in my life, not the way the little girl within me would have them but the way the woman I am should cherish, love & respect them.  If not for them I would not be who I am.  They shaped my life into an energy of courage, survival & a strength that is filled with pure love & affection.  Because of them I know exactly who I truly am. This is what my journey is truly about. 


Richard Quinn said...

I love this article!!

Bindu said...

Thanks so much!!!!!!! :-)