It's good to have some clarity & ask questions! Why do people keep cheating? Why do people put up with cheating? And why do people who cheat never want to be cheated on? Why is it such a major issue within relationships? Many people already know the answers to this but some will still head over to club cheaters to get their groove on.
Cheating is so old but still brand new to many people & always a hot topic in relationships. Men can't handle being cheated on. They lose their minds forever & a day! Women always want to know why they get cheated on, as if knowing all of the details will stop the pain. I'm convinced that women must love the torture!
It may bring some closure but wounds always seem to reopen or carry over into the next relationship. It is such a disrespectful & embarrassing blow to the ego that both men & women snap. I think it is worse for women because women tend to stay stuck in their pain a bit longer than men or maybe men pretend better than women because society doesn't encourage men to show their emotions & hurt feelings.
Cheating to women is the blade that can pierce the heart & break the spirit. Just the thought of being dogged out by the person they've invested their worth into will set women off! Who wants to cook, clean, run errands, go to work, cater to their partner's ego all the time, walk around holding hands like they are the only love & then find out they are being played for a fool? Nobody I know!
Cheating happens every single day but to women it is still unthinkable. Women cannot handle it or wrap their minds around it. Some women are patient & peaceful about it but most are not. Most women are coming for you if you cross them. Some come with the doghouse & a very short leash thinking they will train their partners into being faithful but others come with the straight smack down.
Yes ladies, that's our sad truth but healing is always an option, so there is some hope for us. A lot of women foolishly ask their partners to tell them the truth. WHY do we do this?????? Really?? This is when we should kick ourselves at least three times, because we know better but we still have to ask stupid questions & have the nerve to expect truth.
Your partner is too afraid to tell you the truth because women can't handle the truth! We keep pushing the issue so what happens is that women will get their partners version of *truth* in the form of a wish. Their partners wish that they had the courage to be brutally honest & say "No I'm not ready to be monogamous but I'd like to keep your around as the special one". What is crazy is when their partner says "Those other women don't mean a thing to me! You're special & they're not!!" Say what now?
My attitude is if you're comfortable bashing other women, what does that make you. Furthermore, what does that make me for feeling good about you disrespecting other women. How low is my worth in thinking I'm better because I'm special. Something doesn't add up when you're not special enough to be fed truth & given the utmost respect but you're special enough to be fed lies in order for your partner to appease you.
Too often many people convince themselves they are ready for relationships because they really wish that they could be faithful. It is just a wish because their truth is that they are not prepared or ready for the grunt work. When people are not ready they will gamble your love based on their wishes & they will trap you out of fear of losing you.
People need to give themselves time & not rush into the idea of love or being taken care of emotionally & sexually. I cannot speak for men nor do I speak for all women. What I can say from observation, many truthful conversations & personal experiences is that women hold onto cheating almost forever, a day & toss in some additional hours, minutes & seconds.
If men don’t think women have big egos that tick like a bomb they will eventually find out. Cheating is the flame that lights the fuse that detonates a bomb inside of a woman’s heart. If you are lucky, women will forgive but trust that women never forget. It is hard for them to cope with that kind of hurt. There are no rules for bouncing back & getting over pain quickly so they can trust all over again.
There is a pocket in their heart that holds the hurt endured from being cheated on. If a woman does not focus on healing the hurt, her emotions will fester like a sore that will get in the way of her daily life. She will be stressed out. Women can't focus at work, with the kids or simply enjoy life because that feeling of betrayal doesn't go away.
Also that crazy DNA in women is no joke because we can really lose our minds. Women become paranoid to the point of obsession when it comes to cheating because we have a natural alarm called intuition. That sensor just goes off & there is a strong knowing within in our hearts that tell us something is not quite right!
Once that alarm goes off, women have to investigate! The interrogation usually goes like this......You're busted!!!! I know you're cheating so just tell me right now!! Who is she??? Where is she from??? What does she look like??? Does your friends know her??? Was she in my car??? Did you bring her to our house????? Oh hell no!!!!!
Then women have a swat team of girlfriends to cosign on the madness instead of focusing on the healing process. We all have those "friends" who are always right on time to be a constant reminder about how our partners "ain't no good"! They pump our anger & frustration up to the next level until we stay stuck in being the victim.
Women enter the "He's gonna pay for this", "How could he do this to me?", "I gave him all of me" phase or the "I have done so much for him" mindset. We totally lose our precious minds. The worse part is after all of that crying, anger, stress, WE STAY!! Women will stay & end up right in the bitter zone!!!
I think we stay hoping for change but then we have no control & unintentionally torture our partners. Then they can’t even go to the bathroom without a stop & frisk! (lol) A person who cheated will always be under surveillance until the woman heals the hurt or leaves her relationship. Until that happens it will be torture for everybody! It is not normal to police your relationship & nobody has time for that mess.
CLUB CHEATERS is not a closely guarded door to an exclusive private club. Everyone is or eventually will be in VIP toasting to the sad truth of getting their feelings hurt. Whether or not you choose to stay or leave, you have to focus on healing. This comes with learning your worth.
When people understand that the cheating is not about them, peace is created within their hearts. They can flow forward with their joy in living a beautiful life knowing that they are & always will be valuable. People make poor choices, lack discipline & self control every day but there is hope in healing.
You are not defined by cheating or by being cheated on. Cheating on people is an ego driven behavior. It is just a HUGE red flag that you need to heal from something that you haven't dealt with & it is time to grow up. People who stay in relationships where they accept being cheated on means you're giving into to your darkest fears of being alone.
Flying solo, letting go & moving forward without the person you love may be too heavy to cope with. The truth is that the issue with cheating is about the cheater first & their partner who expects it, allows it or think they are strong enough to fix it. Whatever truth they are in denial about or trying to escape will always be exposed so just focus on healing yourself & creating a stress free life.
Sometimes people are not brave. It takes courage to say I want to have my cake & eat it too, I want to date other people & still be with you, I want to play the field & come home to a warm meal, or I want & need to move forward with my life but do not know how to leave without hurting you. Why is this hard because nobody will want the short end of the stick. It is so unfair.
Truthful communication works when everyone is open to speaking & receiving truth. You must trust yourself to create a plan for your life that serves you best. Do this knowing that you are capable of making decisions that you can live with free of shame & regret. What your partner does, how they treat you & what you tolerate or accept from them is a reflection of your fears & how valuable you believe you are.
Everything in your life is about how you see yourself. Are you seeing someone who is strong, powerful & worthy or do you feel devalued & unworthy of real love? Know your worth.