Those moments when we lose ourselves is when we turn our "IT" on as a defense mechanism. When our "IT" is "ALWAYS ON" we produce a smoke screen that can create internal & external chaos. Chaos is usually the perfect opportunity for misdirection. Misdirection is when so much goes unnoticed because we've been able to keep everyone's attention on something else.
I notice that we put our character on front street but then we want to keep our personal lives private. It's like putting your character on trial & then looking for ways to escape your trial out of fear. We have a fear of people coming into our lives with ill intentions & being foul. We have a fear of people judging us & discovering that we really are insecure. Hey sometimes we all feel like we are not good enough to measure up to the idea of who or whatever we compare ourselves to.
The worst people who are always on are those who pretend to be happy like their life is really great. That's a tough lesson in fear! We fear dealing with some of the foul things we've done at some point in our lives. We have a fear of change. We live in fear of all of our wrong doing & choices being noticed or pointed out so we pretend & defend what we've hidden by always being on.
This is the main reason I don't like titles or labels. I'm wise enough to understand that I'm evolving & learning my lessons so who I am right now is not who I will be tomorrow unless I choose to stunt my growth. The character I've grown into will change so my focus should be about adapting to change so I can embrace each brand new shift & transition that will occur.
You cannot avoid change & you're not learning any life lessons by pretending your way through life, trying to be perfect or living in fear of anything. I've learned that what a lot of people struggle with is not knowing how to turn their "IT" off. Whatever their "IT"is will consume them & that is why they are "ALWAYS ON".
You can't always be on & think that you can actually stand in your truth. You can't always be on & think that you can believe, receive or accept truth. When you are "ALWAYS ON", this means you are afraid to separate your shame by being your true self around others. It means you're trapped in the fear of allowing your insecurities & weaknesses to be under scrutiny.
At some point we are all damaged & infected souls but there is healing in cleansing ourselves from within. People who are always on are easily frustrated & carry a level of hostility because they have deeper issues that have not been dealt with. They drain their own energy from pretending so hard. That's like wearing a costume all day long, eventually you will get hot & bothered. Trust & believe those feelings or issues will find a way to manifest within your life.
This is why others can see & point out something in us that we miss or don't want to see within ourselves. It means all or some part of who we truly are along with our experience is heavily armed & very guarded. I've seen people hide their truth from their children, their parents, their coworkers, their friends & strangers. What they are really doing is hiding from themselves. You can't escape who you are but you can make changes that place you on a better path to loving the person you've become.
People talk about being "the truth" & "keeping it real" & then something about them is exposed. I just live & learn because I know life is teaching us so much that every time we think we have our lives figured out, it will take a sharp turn in order for us to keep learning our lessons. I think what many people fail to realize is the lessons never end. We are supposed to spend our whole lives learning because there is so much to discover within ourselves & in this world. A lifetime of living is never enough to learn it all.
I'm living proof that you can do everything right & do right by everybody you come in contact or connect with & still get hit by a ton of bricks. I took a lot of hits before I figured out that some bricks I can dodge with ease & some bricks will have my name written all over it so I can't slow or stop them from hitting me. What saves me before I get hit & restores me after is when I choose to seek circumstances that will humble me. Those are my best moments because I am open to learning my lessons.
Once I get it then I can move onto the next lesson I need to learn so I can live a better life. People should have a knowing inside of them, a spiritual connection so they can choose wisely & become comfortable in their own skin. This is where life becomes tricky because a lot of what "KNOWING" means is to be very clear about all forms of truth. Be very clear about how people see & perceive you in every light & how you see yourself.
Too many people convince themselves that they are one way or a certain character but don't realize that the world has a very different view of them. You have to learn how to see yourself from all angles & then put the time & energy you need into discovering who you truly are so you don't have to always be on. The creator placed a moral compass within each of us so we just need to learn & then practice how to be guided by our higher self.
You're born into a world that will suck you into many illusions & then break you down in many ways. Letting your guard down means you trust yourself enough to handle any truth that comes your way. Your end game in life after stress, struggles, obstacles & fears should be about becoming whole so you are not ALWAYS ON.