Wednesday, July 25, 2012


I'm sorry but this topic right here needs to be touched on because people won't stop breaking their necks to show others that they are living large & "ballin". you're not & people see right through you so please stop! No seriously....Please stop it!  

I understand we live in trendy times filled with pressure to have the best things, look the best & be the best but how about just being yourself first.  Let us not encourage each other to be walking billboards for advertisements that we are not being paid for.  *deep sighs*

Now in all fairness we all love nice things & I do think this happens to so many of us at a certain point in our lives.  When we don't give ourselves a serious reality check then we are setting ourselves up for an epic fail!  

Sometimes it's hard because we work so hard, love shopping for new things & really deserve or simply desire expensive things.  That's a natural feeling but there is nothing wrong with doing things in moderation.  From my observation some people did not get the memo or got it, read it then tossed the memo in the trash can.  

I watch people constantly set themselves up for failure over their addiction to luxury items.  Everybody seems to want to know what it feels like to have that "silver spoon" in their mouths or give the appearance of coming from or having a lot of money.  I guess it means you've made it "BIG" but I have a different definition for making it "BIG". 

I grew up poor but never felt poor within so that is the feeling I carry in life.  I don't need to be seen & do not require "high maintenance" attention.  For people who love that lifestyle then kudos to them if they can afford it.  I know if I work hard I can buy whatever I want.   My question is do I need it, really want it or is it because I don't feel worthy & my ego needs to pump itself up?  

We all have our moments of insecurity but we can't be driven by it.  I've watched plenty of television shows, seen ads & videos to know that when they say "cut" everybody receives a reality check.  It's not real life, it's pretend.  You are being sold a dream within your reality 24 hours a day & 7 days a week.  I've seen people run up their credit cards because they saw someone in the street with something they desire to have.  

The advertising that says you are less than but if you by this you are "the man or the woman" or "now you are somebody in the world" is a hoax.  The only time there is a problem is when you buy into it knowing you can't afford to lie to yourself.  Most people know better but sometimes they just have to fight the urge not to make poor financial choices that can completely screw up our finances.

Getting a tailored made suit for business is one thing, I believe that is called dressing for success!  Splurging while ignoring your bills is called destined for huge debt!

This is why parents drive around in a BMW, BENZ or an ESCALADE but live in low income housing.  Why not use that money to put your kids in a better school district?  This is why people move next door to the "JONES", buy the big house on the hill, inground pool with the white picket fence & the perfect cars to match but struggle with the mortgage & taxes.  

This is why students are in debt because they graduate & try to keep up with a lifestyle they can't afford.  Why graduate from law school & try to keep up with seasoned attorneys then you start faking the funk in the firm?  Why do you have an apartment in Manhattan, wearing prada everyday to work while splurging on starbucks but need 4 roommates, knowing you have loans to pay off?   

This is why Father's dress better than their children & claim they don't have money to pay child support........ ummmm cause you're wearing it dude!  This is why women break their neck for designer labels paid for by their child support & alimony checks.....ummmm the kid needs pampers & healthy meals, not *FITTI* & *FAST FOOD*!  Also if you have to date please get a boyfriend that can contribute to your household & not live off of your ex paychecks. 

I thought it would click in people's minds when they began to see celebrities going to jail for tax problems & having to sell their homes for far less than they purchased it for or worse losing it to foreclosure.  If they can't afford the champagne lifestyle they are portraying & stuck in, what do you think your kool-aid budget is going to afford.  That makes no sense.  

All these things are nice to have but they should not be high on your priority list unless you are living debt free & are financially prepared for an emergency within your life.  It's nice to treat yourself but if you can't afford it that doesn't make you any less of a person.  People need to know they are amazing & valuable regardless.  

Also paying bills, investing your money wisely & growing your bank accounts is very sexy!!  Broke is not.  Broke is actually quite unattractive & depressing.  The illusion that having material things is the end all be all to living a great life is false.  People have a twisted definition of what being happy means.  I know a lot of lonely label lovers who are designed to death trying to keep up an appearance knowing they are living paycheck to paycheck & missing meals. 

This is why females want fine dining knowing they grew up on government cheese. I won't get into how men shack up with women they don't love because that is the only way they can afford their "lifestyle" or how women sell themselves short by being with men who control them because those women can be bought & sold.  

Why wear only designer labels & run up your credit cards but you're at the bar depending on lame dudes for free drinks?  Why are you driving a luxury car but can't afford gas?  Why choose a lifestyle you cannot keep up with & end up in debt?  Why create habits you can't afford to keep?  Ummmmm....just say no to drugs........*TRUTH*  At the end of the day why set yourself up for that kind of stress & drama?  

Even when you have the money you should be sure you can afford to maintain what you've purchased & the lifestyle you are attempting to create for yourself or your family.  Kids need love not labels & gadets so people who say they want the best for their children need to spend quality time & show more love.  Parks are free & packing a picnic basket or bringing a cooler with drinks/snack does not cost much.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with living within your means & treating yourself to nice things when you can afford it.  

This goes back to caring about what others think of you.  I know a lot of happy people practicing practical living who love the balance it brings into their loves.  They are into their children & can spend real quality time with people who love them for who they are not because they are "ballin".  Ballers set themselves up to get used because that is what you are inviting into your life.  Ballers get people who want to be around them because they know they can get some "things" out of it.  

I say work hard, play hard & enjoy life on your terms.   Understand that something is lacking in your life & you are trying to fill that void with material things.  It is so much easier to stay true to you than to pretend to be someone you are not.  

Being unconditionally loved & supported by positive people in your daily life is my definition of "ballin".  I guess I'm a true "baller" because I am grateful to be loved beyond measure! 


W.G. Wellness said...

I love your honesty on this topic. when folks think their worth is wrapped up in a pair of shoes or the lastest handbag is so sad. There isn't anything wrong with having nice things. I love nice things. However, they don't define me, and i know how to live within what i can afford to spend. Thanks for always sharing your truth!

Bindu said...

@ W.G. Wellness.....Thanks so much! It's just another life lesson that we all learn in our own way. I wished somebody would have shared more truth & straight talk with me but you live & you learn then you share. :-)