"I love my friends all around, white, black & brown!" ~Will I AM
The anger & frustration from the abuse of slavery & racism has left such a tense energy of peer pressure to either be blacker than black, better than black or just not be considered black. Why am I being pressured to fit into my black skin? I know who I am! Being black seems to be all about getting that stamp of approval & your certification of blackness. The more black people talk about unity the more disconnected we seem to be from humanity.
I know that slavery has birthed self hatred & lack of self worth inside the wombs of black women who have been beaten & broken by society as well as some black men because our men were never allowed to be men. How can you be a positive black male when your manhood is constantly being challenged & emasculated?
I know that slavery has pushed my people into the deepest core of mental illness that has destroyed the fabric of who we truly are as beautiful black people. It is truly heartbreaking to see so many of us still stuck & fighting to survive the endless cycle of self hatred, poverty, abuse, drugs, neglect & violence which continues to destroy our families.
I understand why my mother's generation & our elders are still hurt or angry because their grandparents & great grand parents are directly connected to the cruelty of slavery. Our parents experienced racism in a way that we can only imagine so I understand their frustration.
They have every right to be!! My question is if we have everything they didn't have why can't we do better? Racism isn't going anywhere & neither is hatred but there is always a way out & there is always a way to break the cycle. The motivation & determination must come from within us.
To me being black means not giving up on yourself. It means healing our hurt or not spending a lifetime dancing with demons & introducing those demons of self hatred to our beautiful children. We couldn't deal with half of what our ancestors dealt with as far as being slaves yet we still can't get it together.
We have all that they have ever dreamed of as far as opportunity for freedom & peace of mind but we are not living up to or exceeding our potential on the level that we should be. We can't keep dropping the ball, blaming "the white man" then expecting to win in life. That formula for personal success is not working for us. I notice when some blacks within our community do get ahead it becomes a class thing & not a black thing! Yes not being broke, education, success & connections changes the race game!
The healing starts with us & it can be done in simple ways. It is our responsibility to pass the baton of self love onto generations that will be here when we are long gone. We have to take our humanity, our love, affection & dignity back so we can maintain it with everything that we have. Something as simple as kindness & respect for one another can be such a healing from the hate we spread among each other.
Something as simple as sharing truth & information is a form of education so our young girls can focus on their worth. We can't keep living in fear of all the things that hold us back & then blame it on racism. It actually sounds crazy in 2012.
Who is really holding us back? We know when we are being discriminated against & when we are not but if we keep making everything a black thing then we leave no room for positive progression & growth. We need to focus on the human thing not the black thing!
Why are we still verbally & emotionally attacking each other over complexion & hair texture? Why do black men need to say I don't date black women only light skin or white? Why are we bleaching our beauty off of our skin? Why we even competing with each other? I here my people say "My black is beautiful or Black is beautiful" but the fact that it even needs to be said shows where our self esteem is stuck at.
Our youth don't need to hear it more than they need to see it by example. Women hold the key to life. We raise the babies. We set the tone for positive progression, love & affection from the womb. I notice some of my sisters aren't comfortable being around me until they learn that I am African.
Then it's like "hey girl!" or "but why are you so light? You must be mixed!" I'm like REALLY??? As if there is one black person that is 100% all black everything & not mixed with something!! Knock it off already! How do you think the black skin got light? Something white & bright that's how! Do I apologize for my complexion?
Am I suppose to introduce myself by saying "Hi I'm Bindu, the African with a degree & certification in official blackness......please love & accept me as a black woman. Don't shut me out of the sisterhood! Like me!!! Love me!!!" That is the vibe I get from some of my own people! What if my mother or father was Caucasian, Asian or Hispanic? Am I suppose to deny my parents? Do I say I love you mom & dad but I hate the white or light bright within you?
So no other culture or ethnicity counts as much as being black counts?? Do I need to walk around with my black card all day everyday to prove I love being black? A while back I mentioned to someone that I don't like people saying "hey girl!" & they were like "oh you don't like being black"......Ummm, No I'm not a girl, I'm a woman!
When I dated a light skin black male people have said "oh, so you're afraid to date dark skinned brothers". I'm like did you just fix your lips to say that crap to me?? REALLY??? There is self hate in every race & culture but I'm speaking about mine. We have to do better. The self hate & pressure to prove our blackness among people of color makes no sense. I don't need to prove anything to anybody & neither do you.
While some black mothers are telling their sons not to bring white girls home their daughters are curled up in the arms of boys from other races & cultures. What are you gonna do, make them feel bad for not being loyal to their blackness? If you pay close attention to the youth you will notice that most of them don't see color instead they see colors & love it.
I see young white males holding hands with black girls everyday! They are paying the world no mind with all the PDA they show in front of adults. Change is coming in a different way than before whether we get with the program or not. It's time to focus on self love & healing self hatred so we can enjoy life.
The reason I'm not too concerned with how other races & cultures see or perceive my blackness is because I am quite content within my own skin. I am very happy being a black woman with kinky curly hair & a strong African heritage. It's about embracing culture not color.
African Americans created beautiful style & culture when it was stolen so let us continue to share, embrace & love it!!! I've never wanted to be white with blonde hair or blue eyes but it doesn't mean I don't see it as beautiful.
I love myself & I know my worth. I've never felt intimidated, threatened or less than any race, culture, man or woman so it is easy for me to embrace others & enjoy the beauty of diversity among all cultures. Black is truly beautiful but so is every culture & having diversity! That is the beauty within the circle of life!