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Monday, December 31, 2012

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013

"Tomorrow, is the first blank page of a 365 page book.  WRITE A GOOD ONE!
I often reflect but I think this is the first time that I'm doing it with no regrets or desire to change the past.  I believe that I finally appreciate my life lessons to the fullest.  I've poured my heart & soul out on this blog but the truth is I haven't even scratched the surface of who I am.  I've shared truth & life lessons from my teen years well into my crazy twenty-something.  I gave some peek-a-boo moments of how I've grown in my thirties.

We all have stories but only those who are free within will use them as growing pains & teachable moments in life.  I've made it this far with the champagne glass always half full so I'm going to spend 2013 celebrating the woman I'm destined to become.  
I'm going to celebrate myself every single day.  I'm going to pamper myself every single day.  I'm going to have an awareness that will be a constant reminder of how hard I work to not only do better but to be better.  

I am blessed so I need that to always be at the forefront of my mind.  No matter what happens in life & what is beyond my control I will always live my life through love.  

It's less than an hour into the New Year & I'm so very happy!! I plan to keep it going well into the New Year & make this feeling last forever.   I wish everyone else the same.  Thank you for reading, responding & sharing my blog.  

*PEACE & BLESSINGS TO ALL*
HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013

LOOKING FORWARD......R.I.P. 2012

2012 for me was half hell & half amazing.  I thought that I had lost so much of the one thing I value the most in this world.....LOVE.  So glad I didn't!
My family is a solid rock & it doesn't get any stronger than us.  We do our best to hold each other down through life's tough times.  We always pull together to make things happen.  I'm a beast my damn self so any challenges I'm forced to deal with in life, I always take it like a champ.  I also dish it back my way!  

I can't begin to count the unexpected family tragedies & unnecessary drama.  I understand all of these things are a part of life, but I guess I've been spoiled in having those closest to me protected with love as well as happiness.  I'm like what happened??  Life must have been a little too sweet for us & things had to be shaken up!  Life sure will teach you!


Too many people I care deeply for seemed to be moving very far away emotionally, spiritually, physically & mentally.  My heart goes out to people going through personal, financial & health issues.  I had too many funerals to count.  There is nothing you can do about death, except honor a person's memory.  


The life lesson about death that I had to learn, is not to hold back your feelings with anybody.  Sometimes I hold back with elders out of respect but when they pass on, things are left unsaid.  

I wish I had told some people that I forgave them.  I wish I had told some people that I will always love them regardless.  

Life also decided I needed to repeat some lessons.  I wish I didn't have to cut some people off but I know I had no choice.  I wish some people that mean the world to me would not have been too ashamed or embarrassed to ask me for help. I would move mountains for them.  


I'm the kind of person that feels all the way so if life is painful then I'm knee deep in that pain soaking up the truth in it.  If life is blissful then I'm knee deep in bliss just basking in it.  


Some things can be avoided & some things can't but what I can do is continue to focus on who & what matter most to me so that I make sure that we keep the love & support going.  


I never thought that I would have to visit a prison to see someone I love but if I have to I will.  It's a dark feeling for me.  I'm like WTF!  That's other people's lives, not mine but life always teaches me that anything that other people go through can happen to me.  I forgot that lesson for a minute.


Another painful truth is that I never thought that people I call family would go out of their way to sharpen the knife & aim straight for my heart.  Sorry my life seemed a bit too bright & happy for them.  What am I suppose to do act like I'm not loved in the most amazing ways.  I can't hide my joy & I shouldn't have to.  Love me or leave me alone....or get left behind!

Trust that I use that term *family* very loosely because for people who I've been close to & allowed into my very personal space to be so envious of my marriage, my children, the bond I share with my sisters/brothers & the constant support/love I get from my friends who treasure me, especially my best friend who always has my back.
Adorable son-ILOVEMESOMEHIM 
Adorable nephew-LOVEMESOMEHIM
I usually have a "keep your hands where my eyes can see" attitude but it's usually not with people that I call family.  Who knew that they would do me wrong when I've always done them right.  That lesson for me was a repeat because I should have followed my instinct but I ignored it.  

My circle is more like a triangle now because you can't cross me & think you can fill my life space.  I don't design my life that way.  I'll keep peace in my heart for you & keep things positive but I will definitely keep my life moving.  I can't do fake & foul.  

I'm not a jealous person so it actually hurts my brain to wrap my mind around why anyone would be jealous of me & try to hurt my family in the process.  Who actually spend years hanging around someone but secretly hating on them.  That's how people choose to live these days & it's not living.  

If love don't lead your life then you're already dead because that's what life is all about.  You're not living if your focus is gossip about other people's lives.  You're not living if your focus is always being in other people's pockets.  Don't worry about me being well taken care of.  Ummmm....that's my blessing!

My attitude to negative people is what I deserve & what you deserve just might be very different things.  I've earned the right to be loved, cherished & supported.  When you focus on becoming love & doing things from a sincere place then the universe will return the favor.  

My lessons kept coming left & right in 2012 but one that will haunt me is that you never know what is inside of a person's soul but never focus on others.  Nurture your own heart, spirit & soul.  I have to stick to my life script that I wrote on my terms in order to live my life my way.  


If people put themselves in a position where they need to be written out of my story, then so be it.  I really don't hold hate in my heart for anyone.  I live life through love & feed off of my own personal authentic joy that comes from within me.  Hurt is a part of life but so is joy.  


Joy is actually the half amazing part of my year because while so many things were going wrong, love continued to be a steady force within my life.  Love grew bigger & stronger.  Love reminded me of who I am & my purpose which has nothing to do with accepting hurt & dishing out hate.  Love always holds me down & I'm grateful!

R.I.P. to those that are with me in spirit as well as those that betrayed me.  All my love to those people in my life that didn't know how much they mattered to me because my love never dies no matter who tries to kill it.  They say forgiveness is for the strong.  I'll be that women of strength all day everyday!  

Life is truly all about love & I'm certainly living it to the fullest!  Something tells me that 2013 is going to be some kind of wonderful.  TRUTH!!!!!

Friday, December 28, 2012

MLC......*Misery Loves Company*

Hmmmm.......MLC!!!!!  Where do I begin????  You know I have to get it in.   I guess it doesn't matter because if you're a regular on my blog you know I don't hold back!  I just flow with whatever I'm feeling so if you're new to my blog, *WELCOME* Now buckle your seat belt!!  TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!

FIRST of all....I am so grateful for having a lot of things but one thing I really appreciate about me is my discipline with certain things.  No my mouth isn't one of them.  *LOL*  

Once in a while I'll fall off with being disciplined but never when it comes to gossip folks & miserable people.  I'm the silent chin check queen when it comes to them because misery loves  some company.  They travel in packs.  I don't have time for that energy at all.
No time for fake folks who were not born into unconditional love.  I am who I am because I was unconditionally loved from the womb.  I am so grateful to be truly adored by so many amazing people.  Unfortunately, I had to be exposed to & deal with snakes & wolves at some point in my life.  Luckily I stay prepared.  

One thing that people should learn to do is to separate themselves from the pack.  I'm talking about the pack of emotional wolves & snakes with low standards & a much lower level of intelligence that only enter your life for sport to tear you apart for their personal kicks.  


Those are bottom feeders going nowhere fast in life that can't imagine compassion because they are too busy reading your life like a daytime soap opera filled with heavy drama.


Meanwhile back at the ranch, what's left of their *BS* lives is far worse than any bad day you could ever have.  Life has taught me that it's always those hot ass mess folks that love to stew in other people's misery because it takes the spotlight off of them.  TRUTH!!!!

Miserable people will always love company, but you have a choice to decline their invitation into your personal joy or sad moments in life.  Always surround yourself with people who got your back so much that they will break your fall every time life throws you a curve ball.

Personally I'm far removed from that drama.  I don't & won't play that, but no matter how much of a distance I keep, some of the people I care about are either too nice, too open, too caring or just need wolf detection & a snake alarm kit handy because they always allow those people into their lives.  


Even on a great day my whole energy reads "DON'T TRY ME".  I'm all love until you try me.  TRUTH!!!!  I'm use to good souls but in life we all cross paths with negative souls who feed off of the unhappiness or downfall of others.  


You have to have that don't try me energy at times, but do it in a way that sends a clear message to people so they are fully aware that you are not on the same level as they are.  When it comes to spiritual growth & maturity most people have a long way to go.  Wait......scratch that!  Most people are ignorant & clueless or just full if crap.  

A lot of people look at me & assume I'm stuck up or think I'm all that.  NOT TRUE AT ALL!  I love to create my own lane then stay in it so I can keep life simple.  The raw truth is I just don't do stupid.  I always wonder why people associate with or even choose to keep conversations with people with ill intentions.  What for??  Not required!

You can't be smarter than someone & keeping company with them or have them thinking they can come at you from their level of ignorance.  Don't allow that to happen.  It will stunt your emotional, spiritual & personal growth.

The same goes for being emotionally intelligent.  I can't do ignorance on any level but when people, especially women behave on a level that is not just beneath me but really beneath themselves, I can't rock with them at all.  I keep it positive with a strong crooked eye & I keep it moving.  
I'm not stuck on anything but a positive flow in life so why bother with miserable people.  I keep everybody in their place so they are fully aware of where they stand with me in my life.  This way nobody will ever get things twisted.  I'm amazingly sweet, loving & affectionate......until you try me.  

It blows my mind how & why people get caught up with wolves or snakes.  Sometimes I have to ask the people I love & care about to look within themselves because you have to be mindful of the company you keep.

Life has taught me many things.  One major lesson is don't do misery.  I achieve that goal daily by staying away from gossip folks, people with very low IQ's (they do exist....beware), also people who don't have pure intentions. They just want a scoop of your life to make themselves feel better about their own miserable situation.  

LOVE LIFTS YOU!!  Love never breaks you down.  All of the people in, out & around your life should bring love into your life!  If it isn't love, then it isn't healthy for you.  It doesn't matter who the people are.  It could be friends, family, co-workers or those gossip folks at church. Yes I said it!  Let them kick rocks!!  It's not worth the drama.

Any person who lacks compassion for your situation & has no problem taking comfort in your misery has to go!!!!!
If the people you interact, connect & communicate with on a daily basis do not keep you lifted, then it's time to keep your distance or change the people around you.  TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, December 23, 2012

DEAR DARKEST NIGHT.....

I don't know too many people who like to be life's punching bag.  I know I don'tI should be sleeping right now but my plans & life's plans are not on the same page.  My goal is to be on the same page of joy & happiness with so my life can be more balanced. 

My blog is truth & filled with major life lessons but it's also a blog for hope as well as healing.  Sometimes my truth is based on how do I make my life better & live a peaceful life.  I was almost tempted to take a picture of how really bad last night was for me but instead I decided to picture what my future could be.
I decided to look deep inside of me & find any little bit of light that is left within me so I can shine it on my darkest night.  I thought about what I truly deserve & how I will figure out a way to obtain it.  Life can seem easy on the outside but inside life can truly be heavy.  Some moments in your life will just hit you like a ton of bricks.  

No matter how you try to PEACE your life together or PEACE your pain into pieces of love, the life lessons will choke you into a harsh reality.  Those heavy moments can just break you down to your core.  In those moments & dark times you sit around wondering why me?  No matter how hard you try in life, balance always seems to slip your grip.

Maybe life thinks I'm still young enough to take brutal beat downs of anger mixed with fits of rage, but I'm not.  Drama always seem to get old real quick & last night's drama is already stale.  Right now it hasn't even been 24 hours & my darkest night is ancient in my mind. 

There's nothing to say, just much to do as far as going forward in life.  Never forget your darkest times & never look back.  I'm stronger & I'm so much wiser.  Life is not supposed to hurt.  Life is supposed to feel good all of the time.  I want to get there & truly embrace the joy I create as well as deserve.  I have earned my right to peace & joy it for sure!
I want to get to a point where my joy cannot be stolen, broken or destroyed.  I'm seeking that unbreakable joy, that truly is my quest.  Something tells me I'm going to achieve my goals.  I can't give up or look back now.  Life from this point forward is all about moving forward. 

Sometimes you have to find the strength to curse the darkness by finding your spark to light the way.  I don't know where I'm going to, but I'm going anyway.  I'm stepping into the unknown & I'm doing it fearlessly with my eyes wide open.  
My journey has always been about my struggle to empower myself within every aspect of my life.  I don't want to be average or stuck.  I don't want to feel trapped or limited.  I don't want my circle filled with people that build me up so they can break me down.  A major part of my journey is freedom.  

There is no better feeling than having the freedom to be me, my way.  No matter what, I'm encouraged that I will get there.  No matter what you go through or experience in life that makes you feel as if you are at the end of your rope, you always have the option to untie the rope & free yourself.
All is not lost & life is not hopeless.  I believe that with all of my heart!!!! 
*TRUTH*

Thursday, December 20, 2012

BEING BINDU.....

Another lesson life wanted me to fully understand is that I cannot be the Bindu people need me to be when they need me to be.  I can only be me.  

I will not stay the same.  I will change & grow.  I work at changing & growing.  I don't always control how it happens but I always embrace it fully.  Change comes with sacrifice, growing pains, love, hurt & a whole lot of lessons.  


I do everything with an open heart so I can feel all of the way.  Sometimes my heart will be stabbed into a million pieces.  Sometimes my heart will be healed.  Sometimes my heart will pour all of the love out.  Sometimes people will pour pure love into my heart.  No matter what my heart stays open.  I refuse to be held hostage to any fears.
*TRUTH*
Let me share some of my personal truth with you today.  I have people in my life who discourage me every chance they get *unintentionally*.  I have someone who tells me they don't understand what I'm doing & that's not the Bindu they know.  So I guess I am one way all of the time....Not at all!

Then I have someone who says nothing, throw some digs once in while & refuse to acknowledge what I am doing, how I am doing it as if it is meaningless.  Then they try to act like life is all gravy & we are really cool.  So I guess I am suppose to pretend like all is well.....I don't think so!


Then I have someone who talks about how supportive they are & how they are on my side because they want to see me win but they do things that discourage me, hurt my feelings & break me down at times.  So I guess I should take the pat on my back, show appreciation & then go sit in a corner feeling emotionally trapped or stuck in life......Not gonna be able to do that!

They want to see me succeed their way or not at all, which makes them feel secure in who I am within their lives.  In my head I either don't mean much, ain't worth much or am too much for them.   Hey that's just a few people around me.  There are a whole lot more!  I just look around at all of the people who have crossed my path to see what is really going on right now in my life.  

Some people in my life keep talking about success & it's years later...still just talking about it.  They are still taking baby steps as adults.  I can't flow on slow grow!!  That's moving way too slow for me.  You have to create opportunities, jump on opportunities & live life while you still have a life to live.  It makes you wonder what is really in people's hearts for you.  

I have changed but I am growing into me.  They are not just words.  My journey is about the woman I am supposed to become in this world.  She's a woman of courage, strength & experiences that come in the form of life lessons.  I'm open to life, but on my terms & it scares people.  It scares me too but I don't want fear to be my prison.  

I say all of this because life is very tricky.  People can know you for years yet they never really know you.  The minute change comes along in your life, people judge your change, disrespect your change & refuse to acknowledge your personal change.  

CHANGE MEANS GROWTH.  It takes tremendous courage to change right in front of people who are use to you being exactly the way they need you to be in their mind, heart & life.  When your change does not serve them well they don't react or receive it too well.

LET ME TELL YOU HOW I LOVE PEOPLE......If it makes me unhappy I set myself free.  If it makes people happy I'm truly happy for them.  If people shine I'm happy for them.  If people change, I'm happy for them with full understanding that I may not be included in their change or growth....I'm still happy for them. 


I love to see people change, grow, succeed & shine their light on this world but that's because I know exactly what real love is.  I KNOW REAL LOVE!!!  There are countless people that I love but I've let them go over the years.  I've let them go when I was too immature for them & did not want to hold them back.  I've let them go because they needed to be in a better circle with people who had more wisdom than me.  


I've let them go to focus on their family, relationships & new friendships that offered more than what I was giving.  I've set them free to be who they need to be & I've done it peacefully.  They owe me nothing & I truly wish them well.  


ANYTHING THAT DOES NOT GROW IS TRULY DEAD WITHIN.  

Life has taught me that most people confuse love with everything under the sun.  They confuse love with jealousy & envy. They confuse love with anger & hate.  They confuse love with control & being stuck.  


People twist what love is to benefit their fears when the truth is that LOVE DOES NOT HURT!  LOVE HEALS!!!
 *TRUTH*

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

BE RIGHT WITHIN

Staying focused on love & happiness is what positive people do but it makes miserable people mad.  It's like they are not ready for your joy to be on display so they try to hold you back from being happy.  I have witnessed this a million times over.  

It is so true that you can't be too happy within life because certain people will start to look at their own life then compare.  When their joy does not match or exceed yours.....you've got a problem.  You get what you put into life so I deserve joy because I work hard for it!  TRUTH!!! 
Who is supposed to wait around for other people to catch up to their happiness?  Get your own!  Create your own! Be your own!  There is always a way but people focus on others too much!!

Everything takes work!  If people don't understand that life lesson then every aspect of their life will be an unbalanced struggle.  When you are truly right within certain people who carry a negative vibe will just rub you the wrong way, all day every day!  

I say this at least 5 times a day:  I CAN'T DO NEGATIVITY! It curls my blood....seriously!  Go that way with that crap because I keep it positive & keep it moving!

You can be minding your business & doing things to keep your world filled with joy, only to have your happiness interrupted by foulness.  It is always from those not quite right folks.  I don't know how people keep them around or in their circle.  

If you watch any close family, friends, co-workers do foul things to other people but never check them, that's speaks volumes.  What's up with you???  Those folks are devious characters that love to attack others on some passive aggressive & subliminal mind games just for kicks.  


They carry & hold onto negative energy because they are not right within.  That's why I never  care about what's on the outside.  I'm trying read what a person's eyes are trying to show me.  I'm trying to see their soul & listen to their spirit.  Save the mouth cause the tongue will surely lie!!! *TRUTH*


One of the worst life lessons that life has taught me that certain people in this world just thrive off being master manipulators.  I had to figure out how to recognize then handle foulness directly, indirectly & subliminally.  *SMH @ foulness*


Well, I really could have skipped that part of life lessons & done without the negative experiences. It can leave you feeling drained & exhausted.  

No matter how they present themselves to the world things just don't add up.  They go to extreme lengths to create a persona & convince you that what you see is what you get.  Even when you don't deal with them directly they have a way of effecting you indirectly.  You can be minding your business & you just begin to feeling your moral compass go crazy, as if a spiritual storm is about to hit your core.

Sometimes people get things twisted because there are many levels of foulness.  Now don't get me wrong because EVERYBODY has some crap with them but it's their crap so they keep it in their trash can.  Some folks like to dump their garbage into other peoples cans & act like they have no idea how it got there.


We all have our issues & demons but some people turn out to actually be the demon they claim to be trying to escape in life.  They are so foul that you will get a headache from just trying to wrap your mind around why they do the things that they do.  They play mind games, manipulate others & will refuse to hold themselves accountable for their actions.  


The sad truth is that sometimes folks are just not quite right within their souls.  They will go around & find a million ways to make life a living hell for every person they connect with, instead of working on healing themselves.  I must admit that there is something that just urks my soul about those "NOT QUITE RIGHT" kind of folks!  


Those people who keep your mind racing as you try to put your finger on what is just not quite right about them.   Something about them doesn't sound right when they speak.  Something about their energy is heavy.  When entering someone's personal space they tend to carry an odor & stench of foulness, as if they just sit & wallow in it all day long. 


Guard your energy.  I don't understand people when they go on & on about all of the foul people around them.  I'm like "who the hell left the gate open??"  Why are they in your life?  I don't give so much as a "hi" to foulness.  I won't accept it in my life because as soon as you do they go in for the kill.  

If it does not bring you love, joy & peace then it will not serve you well within your life.  You set the tone for all of that.  You control your circle, space, energy & thoughts.  I don't sit & think negative thoughts about people all day.  I'm barely focused on other people.  You have to really do something to get & keep my attention because I'm busy creating my joy.

I'm enjoying this moment right now.  I'm smiling, laughing,  loving & living through love while planning for my future.  Every day you have to figure out what works best for you in life.  Change happens but you should be prepared for it because it may or may not go your way.  You should not have time for any energy that does not uplift you.  
The goal is to soar as high as you can in life!  You can't do that when you allow certain people into your life or when you don't escort certain people out of your life.  You should be cleaning your life as the seasons change.  Let new positive people in & allow negative people to walk out.  Some you have to toss out!  Just wish them well & keep your life moving.  

Thursday, December 13, 2012

"GREATNESS IN YOU" - GERALDINE BARCLAY-KING

CELEBRATING GREATNESS
I am proud of returning to college to complete my bachelors degree after many years of being a single mom.
CHALLENGES
Lack of college education stumped my chances of advancement to managerial positions. By returning to college and completing my degree, opened up many doors for opportunities such as small business owner, consultant and more. 
Another challenge is juggling kids, husband, work, finances, home and some "me time". 
I just ask the Lord for strength and guidance.
Personal achievement: 
Owning my own business 
"Leave it to Geri Event Planning Services"
Friendship Lesson
 
Friendship itself is a relationship. It requires Time, Patience, Compromising, Nurturing and definitely needed in this thing we call LIFE!
Relationship Lesson 
I learned that in a relationship, one have to put God first because there are many challenges that lies ahead and guidance is definitely needed. 
Favorite Quotes 
"There's a million reasons why you should not do something but all you need is one reason why you should" 
"If you fail to plan, plan to Fail" 
MOTHERHOOD 
Mother is someone who nurtures her child, offers guidance to her child, 
teaches her child and possess strength when at her weakest. 
Life has taught me to have Faith. Things happen for many reasons. 
YOUNGER ME 
Although things may not worked out as plan, it's okay because you still did it. 
Just remember that God has a plan for you...Be patient. 
Geraldine growing up was sociable, fun to be around, caring, driven go-getter and a leader... She is still the same Geraldine however, a little more wiser and patient. 
I am a good hearted, blessed, woman of faith. 
GERALDINE'S TRUTH 
Written & expressed by 
Geraldine Barclay-King 
*********************************************************************************** 
I've known Mrs. King since childhood and I must say that we both have come a mighty long way. I'm happy for all of her accomplishments in life and I'm truly proud of the phenomenal woman she's become. She's an amazing soul, mother, wife and entrepreneur. She's greatness to me because she is the truest definition of what it means to be a woman of courage and tremendous strength. You see it in how she loves her family and friends. 
Geraldine has kept the same smile on her face no matter how tough life can be. She offers others her friendship and joy. She's not only a true beauty but a true blessing to those that know her. She has not only tapped into, but is standing firmly within her greatness. 
*TRUTH*